One of my favorites that's not on here is: P: Banging sound from under cockpit. Sounds like a dwarf with a wrench. S: Removed dwarf.
On Tue, 9 Nov 2004 10:45:21 -0600, Phill B <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > We need something like this for web developers. > > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a > sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance > complaints and problems, known as "squawks," submitted by > QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance > engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has > never had an accident. > > P = The problem logged by the pilot. > > S = The solution and action recorded by the engineers. > > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. > S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > > P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. > S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft. > > P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. > S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers > lack normal seepage. > > P: Something loose in cockpit. > S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > P: Dead bugs on windshield. > S: Live bugs on backorder. > > P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. > S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > S: Evidence removed. > > P: DME volume unbelievably loud. > S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. > S: That's what they're there for! > > P: IFF inoperative. > S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > > P: Suspected crack in windscreen. > S: Suspect you're right. > > P: Number 3 engine missing. > S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > P: Aircraft handles funny. > S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > P: Target radar hums. > S: Reprogrammed target radar with words. > > P: Mouse in cockpit. > S: Cat installed. > -- > Phillip B. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Special thanks to the CF Community Suite Gold Sponsor - CFHosting.net http://www.cfhosting.net Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:134888 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
