Reminds me of a cartoon I saw a few days ago. Two guys in a gym. Once says to the other, "Back off! Her husband should decide if she dies." The other says "Wait... wasn't that Scott Peterson's defense?"
Dana On Wed, 30 Mar 2005 17:28:22 -0500, Jerry Johnson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Passing this along, as I found it humorous: > > By ROBERT FRIEDMAN, Times Deputy Editor of Editorials > March 27, 2005 > > Like many of you, I have been compelled by recent events to prepare a > more detailed advance directive dealing with end-of-life issues. Here's > what mine says: > > * In the event I lapse into a persistent vegetative state, I want > medical authorities to resort to extraordinary means to prolong my > hellish semiexistence. Fifteen years wouldn't be long enough for me. > > * I want my wife and my parents to compound their misery by engaging in > a bitter and protracted feud that depletes their emotions and their bank > accounts. > > * I want my wife to ruin the rest of her life by maintaining an > interminable vigil at my bedside. I'd be really jealous if she waited > less than a decade to start dating again or otherwise rebuilding a > semblance of a normal life. > > * I want my case to be turned into a circus by losers and crackpots from > around the! country who hope to bring meaning to their empty lives by > investing the same transient emotion in me that they once reserved for > Laci Peterson, Chandra Levy and that little girl who got stuck in a > well. > > * I want those crackpots to spread vicious lies about my wife. > > * I want to be placed in a hospice where protesters can gather to bring > further grief and disruption to the lives of dozens of dying patients > and families whose stories are sadder than my own. > > * I want the people who attach themselves to my case because of their > deep devotion to the sanctity of life to make death threats against any > judges, elected officials or health care professionals who disagree with > them. > > * I want the medical geniuses and philosopher kings who populate the > Florida Legislature to ignore me for more than a decade and then turn my > case into a forum for weeks of politically calculated bloviation. > > * I want total strangers - oily politicians, maudlin ne! ws anchors, > ersatz friars and all other hangers-on - to start calling me "Bobby," as > if they had known me since childhood. > > * I'm not insisting on this as part of my directive, but it would be > nice if Congress passed a "Bobby's Law" that applied only to me and > ignored the medical needs of tens of millions of other Americans without > adequate health coverage. > > * Even if the "Bobby's Law" idea doesn't work out, I want Congress - > especially all those self-described conservatives who claim to believe > in "less government and more freedom" - to trample on the decisions of > doctors, judges and other experts who actually know something about my > case. And I want members of Congress to launch into an extended debate > that gives them another excuse to avoid pesky issues such as national > security and the economy. > > * In particular, I want House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to use my case > as an opportunity to divert the country's attention from the mounting > political and legal troubles stemming from his slimy misbehavior. > > * And I want Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist to make a mockery of his > Harvard medical degree by misrepresenting the details of my case in ways > that might give a boost to his 2008 presidential campaign. > > * I want Frist and the rest of the world to judge my medical condition > on the basis of a snippet of dated and demeaning videotape that should > have remained private. > > * Because I think I would retain my sense of humor even in a persistent > vegetative state, I'd want President Bush - the same guy who publicly > mocked Karla Faye Tucker when signing off on her death warrant as > governor of Texas - to claim he was intervening in my case because it is > always best "to err on the side of life." > > * I want the state Department of Children and Families to step in at the > last moment to take responsibility for my well-being, because nothing > bad could ever happen to anyone under DCF's care. > > * And because Gov! . Jeb Bush is the smartest and most righteous human > being on the face of the Earth, I want any and all of the aforementioned > directives to be disregarded if the governor happens to disagree with > them. If he says he knows what's best for me, I won't be in any position > to argue. > > Robert Friedman is editor of Perspective. He can be reached at > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Discover CFTicket - The leading ColdFusion Help Desk and Trouble Ticket application http://www.houseoffusion.com/banners/view.cfm?bannerid=48 Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:152281 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
