Stop making me laugh! The neighbors are going to think I'm nuts ...
Erika (with a *K*) Talent is nurtured in solitude; character is formed in the stormy billows of the world. - Goethe -------------------------------------------------- >>|-----Original Message----- >>|From: Philip Arnold - ASP [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] >>|Sent: Tuesday, November 20, 2001 6:56 AM >>|To: CF-Community >>|Subject: THE "TWO COW" EXPLANATION OF WHAT MAKES: >>| >>| >>|Top ones are oldish, but it's still damn funny! >>| >>| >>|A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: >>|You have two cows. >>|You keep one and >>|give one to your neighbor. >>| >>|A SOCIALIST: >>|You have two cows. >>|The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. >>| >>|AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: >>|You have two cows. >>|Your neighbor has none. >>|So what? >>| >>|AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: >>|You have two cows. >>|Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being >>|successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, >>|forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. >>|The people you voted for then take the tax money and >>|buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. >>| >>|A COMMUNIST: >>|You have two cows. >>|The government seizes both and provides you with milk. >>| >>|A FASCIST: >>|You have two cows. >>|The government seizes both and sells you the milk. >>|You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. >>| >>|DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: >>|You have two cows. >>|The government taxes you to the point you have to >>|sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only >>|one cow, which was a gift from your government. >>| >>|CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: >>|You have two cows. >>|You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. >>| >>|BUREAUCRACY, EUROPEAN STYLE: >>|You have two cows. >>|The government takes them both, shoots one, milks >>|the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk >>|down the drain. >>| >>|AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You sell one, and force the other to produce the >>|milk of four cows. >>|You are surprised when the cow drops dead. >>| >>|A FRENCH CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You go on strike because you want three cows. >>| >>|A JAPANESE CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of >>|an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. >>|You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and >>|market them World-Wide. >>| >>|A GERMAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, >>|eat once a month, and milk themselves. >>| >>|A BRITISH CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|They are mad. They die. >>|Pass the shepherd's pie, please. >>| >>|AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows, >>|but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. >>| >>|A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You count them and learn you have five cows. You >>|count them again and learn you have 42 cows. >>|You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. >>|You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. >>| >>|A SWISS CORPORATION: >>|You have 5000 cows, none of which >>|belong to you. You charge others for storing them. >>| >>|A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. >>|Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation >>|declares bankruptcy. >>| >>|AN INDIAN CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You worship both of them. >>| >>|A CHINESE CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|You have 300 people milking them. You claim full >>|employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest >>|the newsman who reported on them >>| >>|AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: >>|There are these two Jewish cows, right? >>|They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and >>|then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard >>|to become doctors. So, who needs people? >>| >>|AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: >>|You have two cows. >>|That one on the left is kinda cute... >>| >>| >>|Philip Arnold >>|Director >>|Certified ColdFusion Developer >>|ASP Multimedia Limited >>|T: +44 (0)20 8680 1133 >>| >>|"Websites for the real world" >>| >>|********************************************************************** >>|This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and >>|intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they >>|are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify >>|the system manager. >>|********************************************************************** >>| >>| >>| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Get the mailserver that powers this list at http://www.coolfusion.com Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
