So... I'm sorry if some of you find this beyond the pale for the list,
but you know, the HOF community lately is my only social outlet (as
sad as that sounds), because my social groups in south Florida eroded
while I was away last year.
Many of you know that Tiff and I are bi/polyamorous -- or at least we
consider ourselves to be, although in the past 5 years we've not found
anyone we've been able to develop a good long-term poly relationship
with. Tiff is subscribed to a number of poly mailing lists and
yesterday someone posted an introduction on one of those lists saying
they were poly and providing a link to their site/profile/whatever...
So Tiff checked it out and it's all about sex/swinging -- the term
polyamory (or any variation) isn't mentioned anywhere, just sex, sex
and some more sex. So rather than lambast them (which happens to
swingers who wander on to the wrong poly lists), Tiff sent a reply
saying simply that it was a poly list and that as such they weren't
very likely to receive the kind of response ("hey, ya wanna hook up?")
they were likely interested in from that list. Apparently someone else
on the list (not the moderator) took offense and lambasted her for
pointing out the distinction between people who typically identify as
poly ("relationships -- 'multiple _loves_' -- sex is good with people
you love") and people who typically identify as swingers ("sex --
probably only sex -- in many cases, 'love' with more than one person
is scary and avoided like the plague").
Excerpt from his response:
---------------------------
My impression of a poly gathering so far is that bunch of unfuckables
are coming together to prove their worth. Cuz if they know they are
sexy, why stop when chemistry is right? Do we want to limit ourselves
by definitions? Or do we want our love to be unlimited? Who can
distinguish the purpose of sex from the purpose of relating? How can
one relate to another without the ultimate closeness of genital
contact? My brain hurts from these questions and too much tequilla...
Cudos to all of you who know me in bed and yet did not form a
relationship.. Next life, maybe..
---------------------------
I dunno... it just seems to me like any reasonable person with a
diverse set of emotions (like, I think most people have) should be
able to tell the difference between someone who wants to _know_ you
(your loves, your hates, your quirks, the "art" of you) and someone
who just wants to get in your pants because they're addicted to the
endorphine release of orgasm.
For instance -- the "art" of Jim Davis (if you pay attention, there's
a very definate style to all of his emails, a certain way he talks,
and the way he uses the ^ character in emoticons) is very different
from the "art" of mtangry (this is self-explanatory isn't it?) or Tony
Weed... err... I mean Weeg. :) My moods vary (I hope most people's do)
and although I'm not sexually attracted to _any_ of the
afforementioned men (no offense guys, you're just not my type. :) I
enjoy "hanging out" and talking about things (I hope most people do)
and that experience would be different with each of them so I'd like
to think it's natural that as my moods change, I would want to spend
that time talking with different people. I wouldn't go pal-around with
Jim when I'm mtAngry, because Jim doesn't seem like the sort of person
who'd enjoy that mood. And I'm not likely to hang out with Tony much
at all because, well, I don't know how to inhale. :P
No wonder so many self-identified "poly people" have that knee-jerk
response to swingers... <sigh>
FUCK-WIT!
/end rant...
yeah, I'm in one of those mtAngry moods...
s. isaac dealey 954.522.6080
new epoch : isn't it time for a change?
add features without fixtures with
the onTap open source framework
http://www.fusiontap.com
http://coldfusion.sys-con.com/author/4806Dealey.htm
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