The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:
> >Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. > >Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained. > >Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. > >Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. > >Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent > >Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. > >Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp. > >Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash. > >Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller. > >Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. > >Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. > >Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. > >Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions. > >Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. > >Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. > >Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist. Erika (with a K) ********************************************** .. <--- candy dots for the line monster .. .. .. ________________________________________________________________________________ Get the mailserver that powers this list at http://www.coolfusion.com Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
