RODNEY DANGERFIELD'S BEST ONE-LINERS _____ I was so poor growing up...If I wasn't born a boy....I'd have nothing to play with. _____ A girl phoned me the other day and said .... "Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. _____ During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. _____ One day as I came home early from work ..... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy .... "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." _____ Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom. _____ I was such an ugly kid........When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up. _____ I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. _____ I was such an ugly baby...My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. _____ I'm so ugly...My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. _____ When I was born .... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father........ I'm very sorry.......We did everything we could......But he pulled through. _____ I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness.......AFTER I was born. _____ I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. _____ Once when I was lost..... I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him .... "Do you think we'll ever find them? "He said. "I don't know kid ... there are so many places they can hide." _____ My wife made me join a bridge club ..................... I jump off next Tuesday. _____ I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. _____ I went to see my doctor. "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?" He said..."I don't know but your eyesight is perfect." _____ I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest ______________________________________________________________________ This list and all House of Fusion resources hosted by CFHosting.com. The place for dependable ColdFusion Hosting.
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