I think all of us have some kind of nuts like these in our family tree. :)
On 2/8/06, Jim Davis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > I just need to share a little bit. First a little history. > > My mother is the second oldest of seven kids and has always felt some > responsibility for her siblings (both her parents died many years ago). > > My mother pays for a cell phone for two of her brothers and pays my aunt's > credit card bill. She sends lavish packages and cash. My parents really > don't have that much money. My father makes a good living but they're > saving very little and they juggle credit card debt. > > Nothing I'm pleased with but also not much I can do about. > > My Aunt (my mother's only sister) has always been pretty hard up. She's > twice divorced and now lives with her daughter, her son-in-law and four > grandchildren. They all survive on her son-in-law's salary as a short-haul > truck driver. > > My mother and father live in Houston in a two bedroom apartment. They've > lived down there for about nine years now. My father travels for a living > so my mother is alone for most of the time (perhaps three weeks out of > four). > > My aunt and her daughter (along with most of our family) live in Western NY. > They just bought a house recently ($20,000 - much different market than > Boston!) and generally seemed to be doing well enough (with continual help > from my mother). > > Now here's were it gets weird. (Understand that I'm getting this story > third hand from my mother). > > My cousin (my aunt's daughter) recently left her family. She was "seeing" > (my mother's word) another woman. Now as this story continues lets also > remember that there isn't a person mentioned (other than my mother) who > isn't at least 250 lbs. > > So, she's seeing another woman. Her kids get some bug (I never got exactly > what) that requires antibiotics. The dad calls to the house of this > girlfriend, apparently where the kids are, and says they need their > medication and that he's coming over to get them. > > So he comes over. Before he gets out of the car the girlfriend's sister, > named - I shit you not - "Porkchop" (I'm guessing this is a nick name) > starts beating on his truck with a baseball bat. She smashes his windows, > his grill and generally bangs it up (reportedly she's well over 300 pounds > so we can only assume she can put some weight behind a bat). > > He gets out of the truck. He's not a violent guy, "doofus" is probably the > best description, and I honestly doubt he had anything in mind other than > getting Porkchop off his truck. At this point however Porkchop and her > sister attack him and beat the living shit out of him. > > So, him and his truck are no both broken on the sidewalk. Porkchop goes > back into the house and calls the police. She informs them that he attacked > her and she was forced to defend her ample self. The police come, take him > into custody and he spends the night in jail. > > My cousin (his wife) bails him out the next morning. This REALLY pisses off > her girlfriend and Porkchop. They throw my cousin out and she moves back in > with her husband. > > Now here's where it gets weirder. > > Now Porkchop has a boyfriend - apparently one of the bigger drug dealers in > the area. Porkchop and her sister begin to harass my cousin and her family. > Porkchop tells her that her boyfriend is going to burn down their house. > She says that he'll kill her husband and her oldest son (who apparently > never warmed up to the whole situation). > > They call, send text messages, leave notes and so forth. They threaten to > sue for the "assault" and "take all their stuff". > > The police aren't able to help much although they're not taking the assault > charges made by Porkchop very seriously (apparently she and her family has a > reputation for false accusations). > > Now here's where things get personal. > > My mother, in a moment of sympathy (and perhaps insanity) suggests that they > all move down to Texas. > > So they do - but the husband has a court date at the end of the month so he > can't come. My mother furnishes everybody else (remember, this is my Aunt, > my cousin and her four kids ranging in age from 7 to 17) plane tickets. > > The idea is that they're all going to stay with my mother (remember, in her > two bedroom apartment) for "just a month or two" until the husband can come > down, find a job and get an apartment. > > They've been down there for about a week now. The kids were given all of > five days notice about this move - they're not happy. My mother, used to > having her space and an EXTREMELY clean person is going mostly insane and my > father is apparently just along for the ride. > > So, that's how a lesbian affair, a fat girl named "Porkchop" her drug dealer > boyfriend and lots of really stupid people resulted in my mother supporting > nine people in a two bedroom apartment. > > My mother says, and I quote, "it won't cost too much more - just food and > stuff". Of course food for nine costs just a little more than food for two. > However she's already taken them shopping and to rent movies and such (they > came to her with very, very little). > > Throughout all of this my mother is still (against my wishes and all > reasonable sense) pulling a $10,000 savings bond out early to give us as a > housewarming present. We don't want it - I want her to save it. But she's > insisting. > > I am so glad that our new house has an in-law - I've no doubt that my mother > will be ending up there. We looked specifically for a house with an in-law > or attached apartment for this very reason. > > Sorry for the length. Typing it out is therapeutic. > > Jim Davis > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Message: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=i:5:196519 Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/threads.cfm/5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/lists.cfm/link=s:5 Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5 Donations & Support: http://www.houseoffusion.com/tiny.cfm/54
