Damn this is OLD but still good -Ben
> -----Original Message----- > From: Todd [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]] > Sent: Wednesday, March 06, 2002 11:09 AM > To: CF-Community > Subject: Real Programmers... > > > Don't eat quiche. Real programmers don't even know how to > spell Quiche. They > like Twinkies, Coke and palate-scorching Szechwan food. > > Don't write applications programs. They program right down to the bare > metal. > Applications programs are for dullards who can't do systems > programming. > > Don't write specs. Users should be grateful for whatever they > get. They are > lucky to get any program at all. > > Don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should > be hard to > under- > stand and even harder to modify. > > Don't draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the > illiterate's form of > documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much it did for them. > > Don't read manuals. Reliance on a reference is a hallmark of > the novice and > the coward. > > Don't use Cobol. Cobol is for wimpy applications programmers. > > Don't user Fortran. Fortran is for wimpy engineers who wear > white socks pipe > stress freaks, and crystallography weenies. They get excited > over finite > state > analysis and nuclear reactor simulation. > > Don't use PL/I. PL/I is for insecure momma's boys who can't > choose between > Cobol and Fortran. > > Don't use BASIC. In fact, *no* programmers use BASIC after > reaching puberty. > > Don't use APL, unless the whole program can be written on one line. > > Don't use LISP. Only effeminate programmers use more > parentheses than actual > code. > > Don't use Pascal, Bliss, Ada or any of those sissy-pinko > computer science > languages. Strong typing is a crutch for people with weak memories. > > Never work 9 to 5. If any real programmers are around at 9 > a.m. it's because > they were up all night. > > Don't play tennis or any other sport which requires a change > of clothes. > Moun- > tain climbing is ok, and real programmers often wear climbing > boots to work > in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of > the machine > room. > > Disdain structured programming. Structured programming is for > compulsive, > prematurely toilet-trained neurotics who wear neckties and > carefully line up > sharpened pencils on an otherwise uncluttered desk. > > Don't like the team programming concept. Unless, of course, > they are the > Chief > Programmer. > > Have no use for managers. Managers are a necessary evil. > Managers are for > dealing with personnel bozos, bean counters, senior planners and other > mental > defectives. > > Scorn floating point arithmetic. The decimal point was > invented for pansy > bed- > wetters who are unable to "think big". > > Don't drive clapped-out Mavericks. They prefer BMWs, Lincolns > or pick-up > trucks > with floor shifts. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded. > > Don't believe in schedues Planners make up schedules. > Managers "firm up" > schedules. Frightened coders strive to meet schedules. Real > programmers > ignore > schedules. > > Like vending machine popcorn. Coders pop it in the microwave > oven. Real > programmers use the heat given off by the cpu. They can tell > what job is > running just by listening to the rate of popping. > > Know every nuance of every instruction and use them all in every real > program. > Puppy architects won't allow execute instrucitons to address > another execute > as the target instruction. Real programmers despise such > petty restrictions. > > Don't bring brown bag lunches to work. if the vending machine > sells it, they > eat it. If the vending machine doesn't sell it, they don't > eat it. Vending > machines don't sell quiche. > > > t. > ______________________________________________________________________ Structure your ColdFusion code with Fusebox. Get the official book at http://www.fusionauthority.com/bkinfo.cfm Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
