heh .. those wacky french .. always parlez vous-ing all over the place.

Todd

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Angel Stewart" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "CF-Community" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Saturday, March 09, 2002 5:31 PM
Subject: New phase of war in Afghanistan.


> "French Intellectuals to be Deployed in Afghanistan to Convince Taliban
> of Non-Existence of God.
> 
> The ground war in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies
> revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist
> philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Taliban zealots
> by proving the non-existence of God.
> 
> Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or 'Black Berets',
> will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency
> and existential anomie among the enemy.  Hardened by numerous
> intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris's Left
> Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement Cafes
> at  strategic points near the front lines. There they will drink coffee
> and talk  animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man's lonely
> isolation in the  universe.  They will be accompanied by a number of
> heartbreakingly beautiful  girlfriends who will further spread dismay by
> sticking their tongues in the  philosophers' ears every five minutes and
> looking remote and unattainable to  everyone else.
> 
> Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his
> confidence in the success of their mission.  Sorbonne graduate Belmondo,
> a very intense and unshaven young man in a black pullover, gesticulated
> wildly and said, "The Taliban are caught in a logical fallacy of the
> most ridiculous. There is no God and I can prove it.  Take your Tongue
> out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking."
> 
> Marc-Ange plans to deliver an impassioned thesis on man's nauseating
> freedom of action with special reference to the work of Foucault and the
> films of Alfred Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have been
> quick to condemn the operation as inhumane, pointing out that the
> effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmens' endless Gitanes could
> wreak a terrible toll on civilians in the area.
> 
> Speculation was mounting last night that Britain may also contribute to
> the effort by dropping Professor Stephen Hawking into Afghanistan to
> propagate his non-deistic theory of the creation of the universe. Other
> tactics to demonstrate the non-existence of God will include the
> dropping of leaflets pointing out the fact that Michael Jackson has a
> new album out."
> 
> 
> -Gel

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