During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.
-----Original Message----- From: Greg Morphis [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: 17 September 2007 20:23 To: CF-Community Subject: Re: a little humor: Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill This is old stuff but one of my favorite ones were "Chuck Norris is 1/8 Indian. It has nothing to do with ancestry; he actually ate the Indian" On 9/17/07, Robert Munn <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/09/17/poll_update/ > > From someone on The Register's forums, about why Chuck Norris is such a > bad-ass. > > Forget Wikipedia, if Chuck Norris wants you to know something, he will tell > you. > > Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. But he has never cried. Ever. > > Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. > > Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked > names for his left and right legs. > > The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. > > If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you cant see Chuck Norris, > you may be only seconds away from death. > > Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. > > Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability > of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. > > Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them. > > In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it > notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in > the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. > > There is no chin behind Chuck Norris's beard. There is only another fist. > > The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It > failed misserably. > > There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris > allows to live. > > Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of > tennis. > > When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only > a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had > to pay taxes ever. > > A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped > people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck > Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. > > Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the > Magnolia. > > Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but > was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a > roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "Thats no > glitch." > > Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by > yelling, "Bang!" > > Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. > > Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks arent the best > way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst > mistake anyone has ever made. > > Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a > Chucktatorship. > > Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty > principle - you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will > roundhouse-kick you in the face. > > Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds. > > Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. > > The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, > because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of > the world in one turn. > > In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to > kill you, including the room itself. > > Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. > > Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the > information he wants. > > > > -- > --------------- > Robert Munn > www.emergentpath.com > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Get involved in the latest ColdFusion discussions, product development sharing, and articles on the Adobe Labs wiki. http://labs/adobe.com/wiki/index.php/ColdFusion_8 Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:242507 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
