> -----Original Message----- > From: G Money [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Monday, March 10, 2008 9:25 AM > To: CF-Community > Subject: Re: Car, uh, pictures > > You marry the human being who you can love completely...inside and out.
In theory... and sometimes it even happens. But life isn't that simple (as the divorce rate would seem to testify). It's hard to find a single person to satisfy all your needs. Society (at least ours), however segments those needs: some (namely sex, but also, to an extent intimacy in general) you can only get from your partner, others (intellectual stimulation, wisdom, etc) you can get from anybody. I find the idea of loving somebody "completely" too idealistic for the real world. I think moments where you ask yourself "what in the hell am I doing with this crazy person!" are normal. One of the main problems, I think, is that people have this idea of "true, unending love" in their heads so when they have those thoughts they fester. In short a society of people that think perfect love exists probably has a high divorce rate. ;^) I know it's cliché but you don't have to find the perfect person... you have to find one that can put up with your imperfections. In time they may even come to love those imperfections... making true love something that grows from a long relationship, not something that begins one. > Hundred's of years of Puritanical babbling have taught us to be ashamed > of > this part of our humanity.....to suppress it, even to deny it. > > I don't think it's shallow...i don't think it's evil....it's just a > part of > us. You don't want it running your life, and you may not even want to > indulge it at all....but I don't see why we have to deny it's there. Exactly. Or why we have to keep it from our partners. It's common knowledge (if not accurate) that "every man has a stash of porn." Keeping that from your partner, to me, just adds a level of deception to a relationship. Some people are able to take it to the next level and be perfectly happy: non-monogamous relationships (whether permanent or temporary, inclusive of both partners or not, etc) work for a lot of people. If you love your partner but are able to agree that there's something missing for one or both of you it can be an ultimate benefit to fill that need. We're not just talking about sex here (but that's the big taboo in this country). But a wife who resents her husband for having fun bowling with the guys but not with here is really in the same boat as a woman who catches her husband in ogling supermodels... it might even more serious. The point is that having needs outside your relationship seems pretty damn normal to me. But failing to deal with them openly just seems ultimately more destructive to happiness. Jim Davis ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Adobe® ColdFusion® 8 software 8 is the most important and dramatic release to date Get the Free Trial http://ad.doubleclick.net/clk;160198600;22374440;w Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/message.cfm/messageid:256049 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/CF-Community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=11502.10531.5
