On Mon, Jun 16, 2008 at 9:28 PM, Loathe <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Tough one man, if they aren't listening there comes a point at which you
> need to move on.
Yeah, well, I'm just basically doing what I've done at other times in my life.
Like, I was head-over-heels for this one chick... she was pretty
manipulative tho (women, right? (/me dodges a wife-punch;)) and I was,
you know, pretty savvy, but still lovesick.
I avoided many of the traps I saw others fall into (I was pretty shy,
and never could tell when girls /liked/ liked me, anyways), which
probably did exactly what I thought it would do... garner interest --
well, there were some sparks, to say the least. Over months, and
months.
But finally, I was like "I'm getting old" well, I got shot, too,
which put a new spin on life -- anyways I figured that to be true to
myself, I had to lay the cards on the table, and see how they fell--
be it manipulation or real love (not that you can't love those you
manipulate). "Enough pussy-footing around, life's short!"
Anyways, that's another story, but the main thing is that I felt
really good about laying it out there, official like, in a love letter
and everything.
Laying it on the line felt good.
So anyways, I've already had personal discussions with my direct boss,
and the big boss. I love to do things personal, when possible,
especially when they're along these lines. I like to take care of
problems internally.
I might as well have been talking to myself, from all the good that's
come from those discussions, so I figure that before I bail out, I'll
do the "official" deal, and put it all in writing, to the various
people, etc.. At least then there will be a body of work for whoever
ends up fighting the good fight, assuming I get took-out, or give up
and take the easy road to less stress and better money.
It's just tenacity and loyalty that's kept me here this long. And
this flabbergasted curiosity... how is disconnect, on this scale,
possible? How could you have something good, in your pocket, yet
trade and sell your soul for something bad that you don't have?
Yeah, my system of God says there's a personal lesson I need to learn
(or two) from this deal, as what bothers one in what others do, is
usually tied to something that oneself is doing, in some regard. But
my God also says he'll (or she'll, or it'll) keep the wheel turning,
and I can continue learning about life and whatnot elsewhere. Do what
thou wilt, is pretty much it.
So, we'll see what I wilt, I guess'ith.
With no money for a new programmer (for this project -- which, is
actually only like 1 of 15, but it's my "home base"), the only option
left is to get things to a point where an untrained monkey could
manage them. It's a shame, because over the years I picked up all the
domain specific stuff, so I speak the project's language... and
there's no-one to pass that knowledge on too... which is vital for
getting apps that do what's needed to be done, vs. what people
remember needs to be done, as it were.
Bah. Time will tell. At least I'm openly trying to provoke change
now. I don't know how far I'll take it, but personal talks have
gotten us squat, and I want at least a record, ya know?
That alone might affect change, but it's a pity to have to do
things this way (and so far, they don't seem to care that there's a
plain as day record, either! Someday, tho, the house of cards will
fall.).
At least I'll have no regrets. I'll have given it my all.
--
Jack Burton: Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the
home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the
president.
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