The Borowitz Report
Andy Borowitz

MINNEAPOLIS - Just days after discovering a skeleton that belonged to
the oldest human ancestor, paleoanthropologists say they now believe
that this early human had the first recorded affair with an intern.

"This is an amazing discovery," said Professor Davis Logsdon of the
University of Minnesota. "It suggests that having sex with interns
goes back a lot further than any of us thought."

Dr. Logsdon would not elaborate on how scientists came to the
conclusion about the early human's sexual activities, saying only that
it was based on "bone examination."

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