It's like Sam with mostly complete sentences. What a waste of electrons. On Friday, June 4, 2010, Bruce Sorge <[email protected]> wrote: > > Dear American > liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, > Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: > > We have stuck > together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, > but the whole of this latest election process has made me > realize that I want a divorce.... I know we tolerated each > other for many years for the sake of future generations, > but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its > course. > > Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will > not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just > end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to > irreconcilable differences and go our own way. > > Here > is a model separation agreement: > > Our two > groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass > each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult > part, but I am sure our two sides can > come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be > relatively easy! Our respective representatives can > effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have > such distinct and disparate tastes. > > We don't like > redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome > to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns > and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, > the NRA and the military. We'll take the > nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar > and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore > and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, > responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to > move all three of them). > > We'll keep capitalism, > greedy corporations, pharmaceutical > companies,Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your > beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, > homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep > the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. > We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . > > You > can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain > the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. > You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our > allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help > provide them security. > > We'll keep our > Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to > Islam,Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and > Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will > no longer be paying the bill. > > We'll keep the > SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can > take whatever else is left. > > You can give > everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing > doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury > and not a right. We'll keepThe Battle Hymn of the > Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be > happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the > World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the > World. > > We'll practice trickledown economics > and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best > shot. > > > > > Since it often so > offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our > flag. > > Would you agree to this? If so, > please pass it along to other like minded liberal and > conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit > delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you > Answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 > years. > > Sincerely, > John J. Wall > Law > Student and an American > > P. S. Also, please > take Ted Turner, Sean > Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara > Streisand, & Jane Fonda with you. > > P. > S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when > you call our > country. > > >
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