It's funny...cuz it's true. On Tue, Apr 24, 2012 at 10:00 AM, Larry C. Lyons <[email protected]>wrote:
> > Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, > your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. > > Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll > to the least accessible corner. > > Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly > proportional to the stupidity of your act. > > Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a > busy signal and someone always answers. > > Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you > were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works > every time). > > Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the > telephone rings. > > Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know > increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be > seen with. > > Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine > won't work, it will. > > Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely > proportional to the reach. > > Law of the Theater & Stadium - At any event, the people whose seats > are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who > will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the > toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the > game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move > once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end > of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk. > > The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your > boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is > cold. > > Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, > they will have adjacent lockers. > > Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich > landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness > and cost of the carpet or rug. > > Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what > you are talking about. > > Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly. > > Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. > > Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a > product that you really like, they will stop making it. > > Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to > the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't > make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Order the Adobe Coldfusion Anthology now! http://www.amazon.com/Adobe-Coldfusion-Anthology/dp/1430272155/?tag=houseoffusion Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:350231 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/unsubscribe.cfm
