People that didn't know you and me would assume we disliked each other if solely based on our email interactions I'm sure ;) On Jun 25, 2013 12:34 PM, "Larry C. Lyons" <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Interesting. I'm going to have to go over it in more detail. But one quick > impression is that on this list at least we have very different impressions > of each other after we meet at conferences etc. > > > On Tue, Jun 25, 2013 at 8:44 AM, C. Hatton Humphrey <[email protected] > >wrote: > > > > > No, really! If you look at many threads on here they are, as I've said > in > > the past, almost down to a formula. Well, I think I've found an > > interesting story that explains WHY this may happen... > > > > > > > http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20130624152251-117825785-can-we-be-emotionally-intelligent-online > > > > Can We Be Emotionally Intelligent Online? > > > > The social brain is in its natural habitat when we're talking with > someone > > face-to-face in real time. Its picking up information that it wants in > the > > moment. It's reading prosody in voice, emotions, and nonverbal cues. And > > it's doing it invisibly, doing it constantly, out of our awareness and > > then telling us what to do next to keep things smooth and on track. > > > > The problem from my point of view with communicating on the web is that > is > > it has no channel for the social brain to attend to. Aside from perhaps > > video chat, you have no emotional signal in real time. You have nothing > for > > the orbital frontal cortex, which is dying to get this information to > latch > > onto, to inhibit impulse and tell you, no don't do that, do this. Were > > essentially flying blind. Which leads me to wonder: is the web actually > > designed to optimize flaming? > > > > When I spoke with Clay Shirky, professor in NYU's graduate Interactive > > Telecommunications Program for my CD Socially Intelligent Computing, he > > shared his thoughts on our online flaming culture and how to quell > > intense e-interactions. > > > > Flaming is one of the most social effects and one of the earliest ones > to > > be commented on because it's much more severe in groups than it is in two > > person exchanges. One of the antidotes to flaming especially in work > > situations is to contact the instigator personally by email or phone, > if > > possible. Very often people find that you have a much more reasonable > > conversation. When you take them out of the social part of the > conversation > > where they're performing in front of an audience, say in a web > conference, > > forum or group email conversation, and address them as an individual, > they > > become much less prone to the kind of name-calling and vituperation. > > > > In some ways, flaming is a combination of social and technological > > pressures that are suppressing a lot of emotional awareness. One of the > > things that IMing and texting has showed us is that presence, awareness > of > > someone else in real time, creates a different sense than if we're > emailing > > or commenting on a post, simply because of the acceleration of time. > > Presence can start to convey things more than just I am here and > > breathing and attending to the computer but I am here and I agree or > > disagree. > > > > How can you create more presence in all of your online interactions? > Simply > > take a few seconds to reflect on your intention and message. Is it clear? > > Will the tone be misinterpreted? That brief pause can save you a lot of > > back pedaling and hassle for an intentionally (or unintentionally) snarky > > comment. > > > > Learn how to be more emotionally intelligent with online interactions in > my > > previous LinkedIn Today article The danger of email and with my CD with > > Clay Shirky called Socially Intelligent Computing. You will also find > some > > helpful awareness-building exercises on Mirabai Bushs CD Working with > > Mindfulness. > > > > > > Until Later! > > C. Hatton Humphrey > > http://www.eastcoastconservative.com > > > > Every cloud does have a silver lining. Sometimes you just have to do > some > > smelt > > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Order the Adobe Coldfusion Anthology now! http://www.amazon.com/Adobe-Coldfusion-Anthology/dp/1430272155/?tag=houseoffusion Archive: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/message.cfm/messageid:364892 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/subscribe.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/groups/cf-community/unsubscribe.cfm
