OK kids, thanks to Dave Ross' commentary yesterday on CBS radio, we now have some of our recent favorite topics, WorldCom/Enron/Andersen and Ferrets all combined:
Fill in the Blanks. Here it is, Fill In The Blanks, where I read a story that you've heard way too many times, and you get the chance to play along at home by simply filling in the ... BLANKS. Today's subject clearly has to be... WALL STREET. It is now obvious that too many major American corporations are being run by... FERRETS. Ferrets can be very cute, but the problem with letting them run major corporations is that... THEY'RE VERY HARD TO CATCH. Once they escape, the only way to get rid of them is to just hope that they get ... CAUGHT UNDER THE RECLINER. WorldCom is now the latest corporation to disclose that its financial statements were written by ...YASSER ARAFAT. Some people are saying this is another ...ENRON. But this is worse than Enron, because WorldCom's schemes ...DIDN'T EVEN HAVE FUNNY NAMES. Government regulators describe these schemes as "Accounting improprieties of unprecedented magnitude" which means that ... THEY DIDN'T CATCH THEM EITHER. According to a company statement, senior management was ...SHOCKED by these disclosures. Investors are hoping they were ...SPEAKING LITERALLY. To everyone's surprise, WorldCom's accounting firm was ...ARTHUR ANDERSEN. That, of course, is a ...COMPLETE COINCIDENCE. The government will now launch a huge ...INVESTIGATION. Outraged congressmen will hold ...HEARINGS. And by the time it's over we'll know everything there is to know about WorldCom except ...WHERE THE MONEY IS. Meantime, Wall Street analysts were busy protecting investors by issuing advice such as ...PASS THE SUSHI. -Dave Ross ______________________________________________________________________ Structure your ColdFusion code with Fusebox. Get the official book at http://www.fusionauthority.com/bkinfo.cfm Archives: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/index.cfm?sidebar=lists
