Subject:                Hangover Ratings

>>>1 star hangover
>>>
>>>No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and
>>>when you woke up there were no traffic cones in there with you.
>>>
>>>You are still able to function relatively well on the energy
>>>stored up from
>>>all those vodka redbulls.
>>>
>>>However, you can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel as
>>>parched as the
>>>Sahara.
>>>
>>>2 star hangover
>>>
>>>No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but
>>>you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler.
>>>
>>>The coffee you hug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating
>>>your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast.
>>>
>>>Although you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are
>>>costing your employer valuable money because all you really can
>>>handle
is some
>>>light filing, followed by aimlessly surfing the net and writing
>>>junk
e-mails.
>>>
>>>3 star hangover
>>>
>>>Slight headache. stomach feels crap. You are definitely a space
>>>cadet andnot so productive.
>>>
>>>Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a
>>>dozen doughnuts and a litre of coke watching daytime TV.
>>>
>>>You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls
and
>>>a litre of diet coke yet you haven't peed once.
>>>
>>>4 star hangover
>>>
>>>You have lost the will to live. Your head is throbbing and you
>>>can't speak too quickly or else you might spew.
>>>
>>>You wore nice clothes, but you smell of socks, and you can't hide
>>>the fact that you (depending on your gender) either missed an oh-
so
crucial
>>>spot shaving, or, it looks like you put your make-up on while
>>>riding the dodgems.
>>>
>>>Your teeth have their own individual sweaters. Your eyes look
>>>like one big
>>>vein and your hairstyle makes you look like a reject from a
>>>second-grade
>>>class circa 1976.
>>>
>>>5 star hangover
>>>
>>>You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually
>>>annoying the employee who sits next to you.
>>>
>>>Vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy.
>>>
>>>You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from
>>>brushing your teeth.
>>>
>>>Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue
>>>is suffocating you.  You'd cry but that would take the last drop of
moisture left in
>>>your body.
>>>
>>>Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get
mad
>>>at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because
>>>you
look
>>>so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it,
>>>all you can manage to do is breathe ..... very gently.
>>>
>>>6 star hangover
>>>
>>>You arrive home and climb into bed.
>>>
>>>Sleep comes instantly, as you were fighting it all the way home in
>>>the taxi.
>>>
>>>You get about 2 hours sleep until the noises inside your head wake
>>>you up.  You notice that your bed has been cleared for take off and
>>>is flying relentlessly around the room.
>>>
>>>After walking along the skirting boards on alternating walls
>>>knocking off all the pictures, you find the toilet.
>>>
>>>You sit there on the floor in your undies, cuddling the only
>>>friend in the world you have left (the toilet), randomly continuing
>>>to
make the
>>>walrus noises and spitting. Help usually comes at this stage,
>>>even if it is short lived.
>>>
>>>Tears stream down your face and your abdomen hurts. Help now
>>>turns into abuse and he/she usually goes back to bed leaving you
>>>there
in the
>>>dark.
>>>
>>>Work is simply not an option.
>>>
>>>The whole day is spent trying to avoid anything that might make
you
>>>sick again, like moving.  You vow never to touch a drop again and
who knows for the next two
>>>or three hours at least you might even succeed.
>>>
>>>OK, now hands up all those who have never had a six star
>>>hangover!!
**********************************************************************



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