ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs
Beijing (SatireWire.com) — Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as
Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis
President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for
starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!"
declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils...
best at being evil... we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they
conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam
Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy,
and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours
is wicked cool."
THE AXIS PANDEMIC
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within
minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a
game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of
Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of
Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So
Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra
Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't
the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and
Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have
Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the
Axis of Countries That Sometimes Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive
First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a
cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment
of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of
filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the
charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world
leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
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