I can't even count how many times I've seen that, but it's still funny.
Reminds me of working tech support....
-- Ben Doom
Programmer & General Lackey
Moonbow Software, Inc
: -----Original Message-----
: From: Angel Stewart [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
: Sent: Monday, February 03, 2003 12:03 PM
: To: CF-Community
: Subject: Pilot-Maintenance crew dialogues
:
:
: "After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet that conveys to the
: mechanics the problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight,
: which need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the
: pilot completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem.
: They then respond in writing, on the lower half of the form, stating
: what remedial action was taken and then the pilot reviews the gripe
: sheets before the next flight.
:
: Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
: humour.
:
: Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems, known
: as being submitted by QANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by
: maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that
: has never had fatal accident.
:
: P = The problem logged by the pilot.
: S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
: *********************************************
: P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
: S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
: ************************************
: P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
: S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
: **************************************
: P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
: S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack
: normal seepage.
: ***************************************
: P: Something loose in cockpit.
: S: Something tightened in cockpit.
: ***************************************
: P: Dead bugs on windshield.
: S: Live bugs on back-order.
: ****************************************
: P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
: S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
: ****************************************
: P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
: S: Evidence removed.
: ***************************************
: P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
: S: DME volume set to more believable level.
: ****************************************
: P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
: S: That's what they're there for.
: *****************************************
: P: IFF inoperative.
: S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
: *****************************************
: P: Suspected crack in windshield.
: S: Suspect you're right.
: *****************************************
: P: Number 3 engine missing.
: S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
: *****************************************
: P: Aircraft handles funny.
: S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
: *****************************************
: P: Target radar hums.
: S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
: *****************************************
: P: Mouse in cockpit.
: S: Cat installed"
:
:
:
: *grin*
:
: -Gel
:
:
:
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