Mike H.-

OY. Not!!
I even had to hold my own urinals.

One of them thought I was asking too many questions about my medications
etc., said I needed to "calm down". I said "hey, I'm a programmer. I like
to know stuff." She said "I'm giving you a tranquilizer" and put it into
the IV so I didn't have a choice.

Later that evening, she came in, asked me a question, I answered with a grunt.
"Are you mad at me?"
"YES!!!"
Then I said "you wanted me to calm down, now I'm really truly pissed off.
Great job."

Another was a hoot, though - Ozzie accent you wouldn't believe "g'night,
mate!!"
Told her we were going to tour Oz in Sept.
She said "Are you going to the Hunter Valley?" (prime winery country).
I said no.
"And why NOT?"
Well, because I grew up near the Napa Valley.
"SO??"
<hee hee>

Another was really nice, gave me a little back rub with lotion to help me
relax and go to sleep.
(But only the back, Mike.)

See why I was so happy to be released home to the company of my dear wife?
:-)

-Ben


At 07:24 PM 3/11/03 -0500, you wrote:
>Ben;
>
>Your little story failed to answer the one question that matters most in all
>this, and the one I feel we can all benefit from:
>
>How hot were the nurses of Mt. Diablo? Did they tend to your _every_ need?
>
>M 
>
>>:^o
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Ben Braver
>To: CF-Community
>Sent: 3/11/03 6:17 PM
>Subject: Re: Almost Gone and Back Again, A Hospital Tale
>
>Beth-
>
>Thanks.
>I'm glad I'm still with me too !!
>
>BTW it wasn't that crappy (although I know what you mean) -
>I mean, if you have to go through something like that,
>at least do it with a _lot_ of quality care nearby.
>
>Compare this to a major heart attack and non-immediate care -
>you're either dead right away, or have a long recovery with a severely
>damaged heart.
>
>-Ben
>
>
>At 02:00 PM 3/11/03 -0900, you wrote:
>>Ben, thank you for sharing your crappy experience.
>>
>>We are glad you are still with us.
>>
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: Ben Braver <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>>Date: Tuesday, March 11, 2003 1:46 pm
>>Subject: Almost Gone and Back Again, A Hospital Tale
>>
>>> by Benbo Braver
>>> <with sincere apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien>
>>> 
>>> (LONG post, sorry.)
>>> 
>>> Promised to recount what happened, how it felt, etc.
>>> 
>>> Hope these "few" words from the brink may inspire some others on 
>>> the list
>>> to make changes before looking into the Grand Canyon with a hand 
>>> on your back.
>>> 
>>> Before:
>>> 5'11", as high as 283 pounds barenaked. Mostly around middle (bad) 
>>> -
>>> couldn't easily see feet :-(
>>> BP not too high, typ. 130s over 80s.
>>> Cholesterol and ratio not good - as of last August,
>>> Total Chol. 274, Triglycerides 366, HDL 40 (should be over 45), 
>>> LDL 161
>>> (s/b under 100)
>>> 
>>> Realistically, needed to lose about 90 pounds, really change the
>lipid
>>> panel numbers.
>>> 
>>> Was doing "strength/endurance" exercise trying to rehab the hip 
>>> and back
>>> muscles, and get in generally better condition, but was not doing 
>>> hardlyany aerobic stuff (walking was tough with the injured hip 
>>> muscle). Also had
>>> motivation limits on how much time I was willing to spend at the gym.
>>> 
>>> Father had angina pectoris - means "choking sensation of the chest".
>>> Like a heart attack, but no permanent damage because heart isn't 
>>> deprivedof oxygen for very long.
>>> His was induced by exercise and stress.
>>> He stuck nitroglycerin tablets under the tongue to relieve symptoms.
>>> Then he had a couple of small heart attacks, followed by a fatal 
>>> one at age
>>> 54.
>>> 
>>> A couple of days before my attack, I was talking about stress with 
>>> my boss.
>>> He's a really super mellow person, on the outside at least.
>>> Hardly ever seems "ruffled".
>>> I asked if he ever had "anxiety attacks", feeling tight in the chest,
>>> anxious, wondering how to "get it all done".
>>> He said (surprisingly) "more often then I want to admit, lately".
>>> I was also thinking about unfinished work and an upcoming vacation.
>>> Plus the stress of "hormone week" at home, the friction with the 
>>> son, etc.
>>> Figured a vacation was just what I needed.
>>> But the vacation was also a source of some stress - would I be 
>>> able to ski
>>> (how would the hip/back muscles do?), etc.
>>> 
>>> The morning of the attack, I awoke about 5:30am, before the alarm 
>>> went off.
>>> Felt almost panicky.
>>> Tight feeling under sternum (breastbone), but no "pain".
>>> Thought "this feels like my Dad described angina."
>>> Decided to try the first aid his doctor had recommended - straight 
>>> shot of
>>> whiskey.
>>> Believe it or not, padded out to kitchen in my robe, tossed down a 
>>> jiggerof JD.
>>> (Very unusual - never drink except maybe one cocktail before 
>>> dinner or wine
>>> with a meal.)
>>> That felt somewhat better, lessened the tightness.
>>> Thought "gotta keep a close eye on this, report it to doctor later 
>>> today,maybe go get checked."
>>> Wife woke up, said "feeling stressed, need a hug". That helped too.
>>> 
>>> Went to the throne room, relaxed quite a bit responding with puns 
>>> to some
>>> cf-comm posts (WiFi in PocketPC).
>>> <sorry>
>>> 
>>> Got dressed, felt good enough to go to work.
>>> Told wife if I felt bad, could go to Medical at work.
>>> She says she should have insisted right then that I go to the ER 
>>> and get
>>> examined.
>>> She's probably right - but on the other hand, if the symptoms 
>>> lessened,they might have checked and sent me away.
>>> 
>>> Driving to work, just before my freeway exit, started feeling more 
>>> tight,and worried.
>>> Found myself reciting the "Shema" prayer out loud in Hebrew (uh-
>>> oh...).(In English, "hear, o Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is 
>>> One".)Thought about driving to hospital, decided I was closer to 
>>> work, and could
>>> get the EMTs giving me first aid while they got an ambulance if 
>>> needed.
>>> Got into office, sat down, started feeling queasy (not nauseous),
>cold
>>> sweat on forehead.
>>> No pain, but numbness down the left arm to the elbow, and a CRUSHING
>>> pressure on the chest -
>>> like an elephant was sitting on it.
>>> 
>>> Was reaching for the phone to call the Emergency number, when my 
>>> boss stuck
>>> his head in to say good morning.
>>> 
>>> He said "hey, you don't look well - you look WHITE."
>>> I said "I don't feel well, I feel green, and..."
>>> 
>>> Never got to tell him about the pressure - he interrupted to say 
>>> "can I
>>> take you to Medical?"
>>> I said "yes, now!".
>>> 
>>> A mistake - walked across the street to the parking lot to his car 
>>> (slowly).Should have said please bring the car over.
>>> 
>>> At Medical, rang the bell, started signing in.
>>> Voice said "be right with you".
>>> I said "please make it sooner, not later - having chest pains".
>>> By this point, it hurt.
>>> 
>>> Within a minute, he and the gal on duty had me lying down, chewing 
>>> on an
>>> aspirin tablet, trying to attach EKG leads (but I was sweating too 
>>> much).
>>> She said to him quietly "should I initiate transport?" and I 
>>> looked up.
>>> He said "do you understand that?"
>>> I said "if she means initiate ambulance transport to the hospital,
>yes
>>> please".
>>> 
>>> The paramedics got there, slid me onto a gurney, wheeled me out, 
>>> put me in
>>> the ambulance.
>>> Guy said "I'm a paramedic, gonna be starting an IV in your arm."
>>> I said "paramedic? as in Airborne??"
>>> You should have seen the look he gave me.
>>> But heck, I was still alive, getting care.
>>> Should I just roll over and die?? No way.
>>> He gave me a spray of nitro in my mouth - a lot quicker than the old
>>> tablets dissolving.
>>> They kept asking "on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being none, and 10 
>>> beingthe most excruciating pain imaginable, how much pain are you 
>>> having?"It started at 6, went down to about 4 after the aspirin 
>>> and couple of nitro
>>> squirts.
>>> 
>>> I could tell from counting the speed bumps that as soon as they 
>>> went out
>>> the refinery gate they turned on siren and sped up. One of the best
>>> emergency facilities in the area is Mt. Diablo Medical Center, 
>>> only about 2
>>> miles from the gate (or about 4 miles from Medical, 5 miles from 
>>> my office
>>> - it's a BIG place.)
>>> 
>>> Think I had a total of 2 or 3 squirts of nitro. It dilates (opens)
>the
>>> arteries to the heart, increases blood flow, relieves chest pain from
>>> angina, reduces the heart's workload. May or may not reduce risk 
>>> of death
>>> in a heart attack. But it also drops blood pressure - this may be 
>>> good or bad.
>>> 
>>> At least with the IV started, I was all ready for whatever drugs the
>>> hospital wanted to dump in.
>>> 
>>> In the ER, cardiologist introduced himself, started telling me the 
>>> thingsthey would do, and might have to do (needed to get me to 
>>> sign "informed
>>> consent" forms). (Later found out he's one of the best cardio's in 
>>> the area.)
>>> 
>>> Said they were going to administer clot-busting drug, TNK 
>>> (Tenecteplase) -
>>> breaks up clot, prevents the ongoing damage from a heart attack. 
>>> (Damage is
>>> from heart tissue beyond the clot being deprived of blood flow 
>>> thereforeoxygen.)
>>> 
>>> Then they would do angiogram - go in with catheter through femoral 
>>> arteryin groin, put in contract die (iodine-based) to allow taking 
>>> images of the
>>> arteries and determine how many clogged, how much.  He asked if I 
>>> knew what
>>> that was, said "yes, had one in 1982. Was very uncomfortable and
>>> stressful."  He said "now we use Conscious Sedation" - local 
>>> anestheticplus tranquilizers. Not as dangerous as general 
>>> anesthetic, but you're
>>> kinda zonked out...
>>> 
>>> Dr said they would probably do a balloon angioplasty, might insert 
>>> a stent
>>> (I said "oh good, my wife owns stock in Medtronic" and OY did I 
>>> get an
>>> unbelieving look for that one), and possibly emergency bypass
>surgery.
>>> 
>>> I signed the forms, and went off to the cath lab.
>>> Don't remember much at all. 
>>> 
>>> This all started when I got to work at 8am. By 11am or earlier, I was
>>> sitting up in bed, wired and hosed, wondering whether I was really 
>>> going to
>>> be ok. In walks my wife. I broke out in a huge smile, said "gee, 
>>> you look
>>> wonderful". :-)
>>> 
>>> At this point, the pain was virtually gone.
>>> 
>>> Asked the wife to email MikeyD, so he could tell the list what 
>>> happened.
>>> BTW they _did_ put in a stent - 12mm long mesh cylinder of steel, 
>>> like a
>>> liner for the damaged portion of artery. (The circumflex artery.) It
>>> expands to hold the artery open, then integrates with the artery 
>>> wall over
>>> time. I can't have an MRI for a couple of months, for obvious
>reasons.
>>> 
>>> Had some ups and downs - apparently, a combination of 2 drugs they 
>>> gave me
>>> (a beta blocker and ??) lowered my BP too much, it went down to
>>> 70-something over 40-something, they got worried.  Felt wierd 
>>> while they
>>> got the BP stabilized.
>>> 
>>> Had an IV in the back of each hand, a red "ET light" oxygen and pulse
>>> sensor on a finger, EKG electrodes on the chest. And a wound in 
>>> the inside
>>> hip joint from the catherter. Very difficult to rest comfortably 
>>> or adjust
>>> position in bed. Found it difficult to concentrate on reading, tv, 
>>> anything- partly from the drugs, partly from exhaustion and stress.
>>> 
>>> Had a BP cuff on one arm, all the time. Prevented me from bending 
>>> the arm
>>> fully.
>>> For a while, they were taking the BP every 15 minutes (!!) - it 
>>> transmittedto the nurses' station.
>>> I could see the monitor above my bed, with some difficulty, and 
>>> see an
>>> occasional wierd-feeling heartbeat show up as a blip on the EKG 
>>> graph. (Was
>>> told that my left ventricle might fire too strongly or out of
>sequence
>>> sometimes, as the heart got used to having more oxygen.)
>>> 
>>> Did _not_ enjoy having to use a urinal - many, many times a day, too,
>>> because of all the IV fluids.
>>> Re: the alternative, that part of the body just switched off 
>>> completely,thankfully.
>>> Didn't re-activate until Saturday when I got into a room with a real
>>> bathroom <yay>.
>>> 
>>> They had me on solid food as of lunch Thursday - but low cal, low
>>> cholesterol, low sodium menu. OK. I actually got to pick my meals
>from
>>> several choices. Better than a lot of airline food I've had :-)
>>> 
>>> Hospitals give you medications on a schedule - hence the classic 
>>> line "wake
>>> up to take your sleeping pill" (not relevant in my case, but 
>>> funny).  
>>> 
>>> After a while, it got "old" and boring - ok, folks, I'm alive and 
>>> startingto recover. Now I'm uncomfortable. Tried really hard not 
>>> to complain,
>>> considering the alternative. Felt almost euphoric, elated mentally 
>>> whilehassled physically. Strange.
>>> 
>>> Friday, they were supposed to move me to a regular room, but 
>>> didn't have a
>>> bed available. So I got kept in CCU. At least I was able to talk 
>>> them into
>>> giving me a telephone.
>>> 
>>> Was I ever surprised when MikeyD talked his way through the nurses 
>>> and got
>>> me on the phone. He wanted to know my Hebrew name so he could say a
>>> traditional prayer for healing for me - much appreciated!!  And 
>>> even more
>>> surprised when a little later Friday afternoon, Eri*K*a and Philip 
>>> fromEngland got me on the phone. Wow.
>>> 
>>> Saturday afternoon, one of my rabbis came over to visit. A while
>after
>>> that, they moved me to a regular room, with a roommate. This was 
>>> anothertrip - roommate was 81 years old, had just gotten a 
>>> pacemaker. He worked at
>>> the same refinery I do (under prior owners) from 1945 to 1977 when he
>>> retired. Boy, was he happy to have an audience for all his stories 
>>> - I
>>> understood enough to ask questions and draw him out. (And of 
>>> course I got
>>> to tell him stories <g>.)
>>> 
>>> Uncanny - we both have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. We both have 
>>> photographyas a hobby. I'm going to Australia in 6 months, he just 
>>> got back 6 months ago.
>>> 
>>> So, now that I'm home, it's hard to just sit or lie down and rest.
>>> But I don't have a lot of endurance - so eventually I give in and 
>>> take it
>>> easy.
>>> 
>>> Am going down to the gym at least every other day to do the 
>>> exercise bike
>>> or treadmill, while monitoring pulse rate. Need to work up to 30 
>>> minutes or
>>> more every day.
>>> 
>>> Am also going up and down the stairs at home a lot - partly for 
>>> exercise,partly because my computer is up there <g>. Then I have 
>>> to go downstairs to
>>> eat or pee.  Amazing what those diuretic pills can do <ha>.
>>> 
>>> Really conscious of every little twinge or funny feeling, but for 
>>> the most
>>> part feel better than I did before (but tired).
>>> Think about it - if a blood vessel in the heart were 50% blocked, 
>>> and now
>>> it's open, what a difference that makes.
>>> When you add this to the thyroid medication and the air pump for
>sleep
>>> apnea, the brain is actually functioning !!
>>> 
>>> Wife goes between the "stiff upper lip" and breaking down crying 
>>> saying"I'm glad you didn't die".
>>> 
>>> Sorry for the length of the post, but it feels good to lay it all
>out.
>>> 
>>> OK, folks - a couple of items from the "bully pulpit" -
>>> (1) get your cholesterol and blood pressure tested
>>> (2) get regular exercise
>>> (3) learn to reduce stress
>>> (4) be here longer for those who love you.
>>> 
>>> -Ben Braver
>>> 
>>> 
>>> 
>>
>
>
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