naw.. I just don't sweat the little things. The teeny tiny little things. <g> Have a nice day
Dana On Tue, 10 Jun 2003 19:43:00 +0100, Philip Arnold <[EMAIL PROTECTED] arnold.com> wrote: > A little Aviation Humor for everybody apart from Dana who has had a > sense of humor bypass... > > > > Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in > the ocean than there are submarines in the sky. > > If the wings are traveling faster than the > fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and > therefore, unsafe. > > Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring > is like squatting to pee. > > When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane > you always have enough power left to get you to > the scene of the crash. > > Without ammunition the USAF would be just another > expensive flying club. > > What is the similarity between air traffic > controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the > pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies. > > Never trade luck for skill. > > The three most common expressions (or famous last > words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", > "Where are we?" and "Oh S#!+!" > > Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers. > > Progress in airline flying; now a flight > attendant can get a pilot pregnant. > > Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always > needed to successfully complete the flight. > > A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is > all luck; three in a row is prevarication. > > I remember when sex was safe and flying was > dangerous. > > Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we > never left one up there! > > Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in > a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead > batteries. > > Flying the airplane is more important than > radioing your plight to a person on the ground > incapable of understanding it or doing anything > about it. > > When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, > something was forgotten. > > Just remember, if you crash because of weather, > your funeral will be held on a sunny day. > > Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II. When a > prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to > strike the softest, cheapest object in the > vicinity as slowly and gently as possible. > > The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the > world; it can just barely kill you. (Attributed > to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot) > > A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't > flying his plane to its maximum. (Jon McBride, > astronaut) > > If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the > thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob > Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot) > > If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat > on it; ride the bastard down. (Ernest K. Gann, > author &aviator) > > Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall > Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and > Climbing. (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 > operating location Kadena, Japan). > > You've never been lost until you've been lost at > Mach 3. (Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot) > > Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver > than you. > > There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm > in peacetime. (Sign over squadron ops desk at > Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970). > > The three best things in life are a good landing, > a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The > night carrier landing is one of the few > opportunities in life where you get to experience > all three at the same time. (Author unknown, but > someone who's been there) > > "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." > (A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out > on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320). > > If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, > it's about to. > > Basic Flying Rules; > Try to stay in the middle of the air. > Do not go near the edges of it. > The edges of the air can be recognized by the > appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and > interstellar space. It is much more difficult to > fly there.. > > You know that your landing gear is up and locked > when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal > > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5 Your ad could be here. Monies from ads go to support these lists and provide more resources for the community. http://www.fusionauthority.com/ads.cfm Unsubscribe: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/unsubscribe.cfm?user=89.70.5
