> > An American tourist in London found himself needing to take a leak > something terrible. After a long search he just couldn't find any public > bathroom to relieve himself. So he went down one of the side streets to > take care of business. Just as he was unzipping, a London police officer > showed up. > > "Look here, old chap, what are you doing?" the officer asked. > > "I'm sorry," the American replied, but I really gotta take a leak." > > "You can't do that here," the officer told him. "Look, follow me." > > The police officer led him to a beautiful garden with lots of grass, > pretty flowers, and manicured hedges. "Here," said the policeman, "whiz > away." > > The American tourist shrugged, turned, unzipped, and started relieving > himself on the flowers. "Ahhh," he said in relief. Then turning toward > the officer, he said, "This is very nice of you. Is this British > courtesy?" > > "No," retorted the policeman. "It's the French Embassy." > _________________________________________ > > The lady of the house washed, dried, folded and put > away her husband's underwear. He took out a pair the > next morning and was shaking the powder out and said, > "Darn it, woman, I wish you wouldn't put so much > powder in my underwear." > > She replied, "That's not powder--- it's Miracle Grow" > ______________________________________ > > Among van Gogh's relatives were: > > His dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh > The brother who ate prunes ---------------------- Gotta Gogh > The brother who worked at a convenience store --- Stopn Gogh > The grandfather from Yugoslavia ------------------ U Gogh > The brother who bleached his clothes white -------- Hue Gogh > The cousin from Illinois ---------------------------- Chica Gogh > His magician uncle ------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh > His Mexican cousin ------------------------------- Amee Gogh > The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------- Gring Gogh > The nephew who drove a stage coach ---------- Wells-far Gogh > The constipated uncle ----------------------------- Cant Gogh > The ballroom dancing aunt ------------------------ Tang Gogh > The bird lover uncle ---------------------------- Flamin Gogh > His nephew psychoanalyst ------------------------ E Gogh > The fruit loving cousin --------------------------- Man Gogh > An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------ Way-to Gogh > The little bouncy nephew --------------------------- Poe Gogh > A sister who loved disco ---------------------------- Go Gogh > Italian uncle ----------------------------------------Day Gogh > And his niece who travels the country in a van --- Winnie Bay Gogh > Well, there you Gogh! > ____________________________________ > > A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las > Vegas & decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the > first > one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?" "No," she replied, > "I'm > sorry, it isn't." > > Well, if I pay you $100, what percentage of the $100 do the > girls get?" "The house gets $80.00 and the girls get $20.00." Mightily > offended at such unfair dealings, the man stomped off down the street > in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. > > His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the > Madam responded, "Why, yes, sir, this is a Union House." The man asked, > "And if I pay you $100, what percentage of the $100 do the girls get? > "The > girls > get $80.00 and the house gets $20.00." "That's more like it! !!!" the > Teamster said. He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room and > pointed > to a stunningly attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the night." > > "I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam, then pointed to an 85 > year-old > woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has seniority." > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~| Archives: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?forumid=5 Subscription: http://www.houseoffusion.com/cf_lists/index.cfm?method=subscribe&forumid=5
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