looked over at his wife and said, "How come you never make love to
me like that?"
"Are you kidding me?? Do you have any idea how much they pay those
people to do that??"
In a Barrie, Ont., church bulletin: "The choir will 'disrobe' for
the summer months and join us in the pews. Now is a good time to
tell them how much you appreciate what they add to our worship
service."
We telemarketers know we're universally loathed.
Still, some people are quite pleasant on the phone.
One day I called a number and asked to speak with Mr. Morgan. The
woman who answered explained that he no longer lived at that
address, but she did have a number where he could be reached.
I thanked her, rang that number, and was greeted with, "Good
morning, Highland View Cemetery."
Jeff was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a
house of prostitution.
"You shouldn't be so unhappy about it," the barkeep said, "it's
actually really romantic."
"Oh, yeah?" responded Jeff. "Well, I thought she was home taking
care of the kids and she thought I was bowling. And to clinch it
all, the Madame wouldn't give me my money back and refused to give
me another girl."
A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for
the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no
mark on his body but an autopsy showed large amounts of methane
gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and
cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right
combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep
from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed.
Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't
have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near airtight
bedroom. He was ". . . a big man with a huge capacity for creating
[this deadly gas]." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was
hospitalized.
Did you hear that the Polish government placed an order for 1,000 septic
tanks?
As soon as they learn to drive them, they're going to invade Russia.
[Todays Threads] [This Message] [Subscription] [Fast Unsubscribe] [User Settings]
