ROFLMAO.
After all this time, you can say "For some reason, this list reminded me of Ben Braver <g>" ??? <oy>.
Kinda punny?
These are SO bad.
How bad are they?
They are SO bad, they could have come from Ben!
;-)
Thanks, I really needed this today - literally sitting here giggling.
-Ben
1b. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can get into my own pants, but I can't find what I was looking for!
1c. I'm so old, I can get into her pants, but I forget why I was there!
2b. In some parts of the South, this is normal.
3. hit you with her implants?
4. longer high: stand up fast, fall down, repeat...
5. I thought Mom said not to put it in your mouth? ;-)
6. They ARE me here.
7. But the sweater is always wet.
8. And if a pilot is the first experimental tv show, how safe do you feel that's what they call the person in the front of the plane?
9. True. Clinton was a real gag.
10. Isn't that really true in gay marriage?
11. If you're unlucky, the reverse is also true.
12. If you're somebody special, think what special education means.
13. You could have stopped with "everyday I beat my own..."
14. More people want to be Miss America 'cause they get a CROWN.
15. A lot of bars have a peeing section.
16. Go in the dark. See them by Braille.
17. And they are real flakes.
-Ben
> For some reason, this list reminded me of Ben Braver <g>
>
> It's kinda punny :)
>
>
> 1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> own pants.
>
> 2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
>
> 3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said
> "Implants?" She hit me.
>
> 4. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
>
> 5. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words
> "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
>
> 6. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
>
> 7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a
> moaner.
>
> 8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal and
> the preparation the final approach?
>
> 9. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
> elected.
>
> 10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
>
> 11. I love being married..It's so great to find that one special
> person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
>
> 12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
>
> 13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive
> days I've stayed alive.
>
> 14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and
> 50 for Miss America?
>
> 15. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a
> peeing section in a swimming pool?
>
> 16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see
> naked?
>
> 17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
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