In 2002, son and I were getting along well enough to go out to lunch or movies periodically. So we invited him to go to Kaua'i with us for a week (since we had already taken his sister there - he was in college at the time). By halfway through the week he had blown up at me, said a lot of nasty things, wanted to go home right then. Wife said "nope, sorry, ticket not good yet" and we had to tough out a lousy time. Ruined the vacation.
A number of things have happened since, where he's been really rude to me - after coming over to our house and eating our food, that's almost literally biting the hand that feeds you. He claims it's my fault.
OK, he has some issues, and we firmly believe some problems which could be helped by meds, which he won't do. I've been keeping my distance. Now he's acting more cordial again. I'm not going to rebuff that, nor am I going to assume he's gone through a big change just yet...
-Ben
>There's an old cliche about being grateful for something that's
>happened instead of being sad when it's ended. As much as I hate
>cliche's (in non-comedic situations anyway), I have to think there's a
>lot of truth in this one... it's not the easiest thing to remember,
>especially with relationships, and that makes it rather difficult to
>live your life that way, but when I've been able to I've found that it
>helps. :) I don't know about expectation leading to avoidance (I'm
>sure it can), but my reason for not wanting to build expectations on
>an event like this is really just so I can focus on the event itself
>and be grateful of it while I can.
>
>
>
>> If you can forgive the pun (and if anyone can, it's you)
>> this seems like
>> a step in the right direction.
>
>> And you've probably got the right attitude towards it.
>> Expectation
>> leads to avoidance sometimes.
>
>> --benD
>
>> Ben Braver wrote:
>
>>> You may be right, BenD.
>>> But this may just be a blip on the radar - he made a
>>> comment like "I
>>> don't feel like this very often, but...".
>>> Still taking it as a very good thing.
>>> Just not making too many expectations.
>>>
>>> -BenB
>>>
>>> >> Total shocker last night - son (son ?!?!?) gave me a
>>> >> hug, said it will
>>> >> be ok. Whoa.
>>> >
>>> >Maybe the best bit to come out of this, eh? I mean,
>>> >mobility is great
>>> >and all, but (speaking as a son who made up with his
>>> >dad) that's just
>>> >fantastic.
>>> >
>>> >--benD
>>> >
>>>
>>
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