Some ideas...
Next time you bring the son over, tell him to get the rudeness out of
the way because you can't stand his mouth. Tell him how sick you are of
trying to digest your meal and with some ingrate bellyaching in your
ears. Let him know all the yapping and complaining don't matter, it's
just lips flapping in the breeze. If he wanted something to be
different, he should have made it different a long time ago. It is his
own fault, and you don't don't have to put up with none of that jive. If
he doesn't like what he has, maybe he should go take it up with God.
Then offer him a glass of water and some bread, and tell him that's all
he's gonna get. Comment on his poor hygene and tell him what his diapers
used to look like when he was 2. Make him understand how your problems
are his fault and muse about what it could have been like if things had
been different. Talk about your youth and how it was spent selflessly
bringing up children. Detail what your life was like when he was born
and the opportunities that were stolen from you because of your family
responsibilities.
At this point, don't respond to anything he has says.
Remind him of all that dumb stuff he did as a teenager, expecially any
girls he used to date. Pick one of them at random and ask if she is
still in prison. Ask him if he still [pick one: shoplifts / starts fires
in the woods / eats out of the garbage / sleeps on park benches / lives
in a squat / drifts from town to town ], and ask how much longer that is
going to last (assuming he denies it). Mention all of these behaviors
are considered gateways for serial killers by criminal profilers. Roll
your eyes often, and don't let on that you think he's anything but a
criminal.
Cut off the evening abruptly and explain you need your TV time to watch
O'Reilly, then turn on cartoons. If he gives you any lip, don't say a
word, just turn up the TV to the point you can't hear him. If you don't
have a TV, substitute a book, preferably a reference manual.
Following this script should sap his spirit, maybe even confuse him.
M
-----Original Message-----
From: Ben Braver [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Monday, February 02, 2004 11:27 AM
To: CF-Community
Subject: Re:TMI, TMI (long)
Perhaps, but in this case you may excuse me for being a bit wary.
In 2002, son and I were getting along well enough to go out to lunch or
movies periodically. So we invited him to go to Kaua'i with us for a
week (since we had already taken his sister there - he was in college at
the time). By halfway through the week he had blown up at me, said a lot
of nasty things, wanted to go home right then. Wife said "nope, sorry,
ticket not good yet" and we had to tough out a lousy time. Ruined the
vacation.
A number of things have happened since, where he's been really rude to
me - after coming over to our house and eating our food, that's almost
literally biting the hand that feeds you. He claims it's my fault.
OK, he has some issues, and we firmly believe some problems which could
be helped by meds, which he won't do. I've been keeping my distance. Now
he's acting more cordial again. I'm not going to rebuff that, nor am I
going to assume he's gone through a big change just yet...
-Ben
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