Unfortunately, the MS SMTP service accepts mails from anywhere even if it
shouldn't because it has this IMO design flaw that means that even for
addresses it shouldn't relay for, it returns a 250 OK result to the sending
MTA. This doesn't mean that it is set up as an open relay (in fact MS W2k3
SMTP is pretty well closed down by default) but it does look like an open
relay because instead of doing the right thing and rejecting the mail when
the originating machine connects to the SMTP service, it accepts it and then
sticks it in the drop (IIRC) folder....

If you know all of the IP addresses that should be allowed to access the
server then simply filter the connections by IP address in the relevant
security panel of the SMTP section of IIS. If you don't then there is little
you can do to stop this behaviour short of changing your SMTP server for one
that rejects relay attempts at the correct time... 

The question is, why is your server being targetted as a possible SMTP relay
so much that it kills your server with mail? Is this a new server? Did
another server have the IP address your server is now on previously? If so
was that server a known open relay?

If you need any specifics about MS SMTP then feel free to refine your query!

HTH

Paul


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