some genius sent to me by my old man, some of these will be entering my
extensive vocabulary methinks. enjoy.
CHRIS BATER
> NBF 88
>[EMAIL PROTECTED] -----Original Message-----
>From: Bater,CW,Chris,NBF88 BATERCW R
>Sent: Friday, May 03, 2002 07:17
>To: '[EMAIL PROTECTED]'
>Subject: FW: Zen advice for beginners.
>
> Carl, thought you might like these words of wisdom CHRIS BATER
> NBF 88
>[EMAIL PROTECTED] Read it and learn from the masters. >> Your Daily
>Moment of Zen (Modified to reflect contemporary wisdom):
>> >> >> 1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
>>mile in their >> shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
>>you're a mile away and you have >> their shoes. >>
>>>> 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt
>>and a >> leaky tire. >> >> 3. It's always darkest
>>before dawn. So if you're going to steal your >> neighbor's
>> >> newspaper, that's the time to do it. >> >> 4. Sex is like
>>air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. >>
>>>> 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
>> >> promoted. >> >> 6. No one is listening until you fart.
>> >> >> 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
>>else. >> >> 8. Never test the depth of the water with both
>>feet. >> >> 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
>>missing a couple of >> loan repayments. >> >> 10. Do
>>not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of >>
>>me, for I may >> not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just
>>leave me the hell >> alone. >> >> 11. If at first
>>you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. >> >> 12.
>>Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to >>
>>fish, and hewill sit in a boat and drink beer all day. >> >>
>>13. If you lend someone �20 and never see that person again, it was
>> >> probably worth >> it. >> >> 14. If you tell the
>>truth, you don't have to remember anything. >> >> 15. Some
>>days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. >>
>>>> 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. >> >>
>>17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes
>> >> from bad judgment. >> >> 18. The quickest way to
>>double your money is to fold it in half and put >> it back in
>>your pocket. >> >> 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>>>> >> 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a
>>dark side, >> and it holds the universe together. >> >>
>>21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
>> >> >> 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
>>your lips are >> moving. >> >> 23. Experience is
>>something you don't get until just after you need it. >>
>>>> 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. >> >> 25. We are
>>born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... >>
>>then things get worse.
>
Touch Me, I Rock!!
