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----- Original Message -----
From: Nige
Brown
Sent: Thursday, May 09, 2002 7:03 PM
Subject: Fw: WHO IS JACK SCHITT? -----
Subject: WHO IS JACK SCHITT? For
some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
We
find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Well,
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack
Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe
Schitt, the fertilizer magnate,married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N.
Schitt, Inc. They
had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply
religious
couple produced six children: Holie
Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap
Schitt
and Dip Schitt. Against
her parents objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
After
being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later
married
Ted Sherlock, and, because her kids were living with them, she
wanted
to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile,
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, produced a son with a rather
nervous
disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children,
Fulla
Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseprable throughout childhood and
subsequently
married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding
announcement
in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The
Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the
prodigal
son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy
his
new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now
when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt, " you can correct them.
Sincerely,
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