Hi, everyone. I saw this on dogster and thought it was really good.
It is very lengthy but really gets the point across. ~Lacey
An Open Letter to Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner:
Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and
foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an
extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept
surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help
us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the
following guidelines:
1. Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for
your pet, or that you, "feel you MIGHT be forced to," or that
you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor
beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-
cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend
at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of
time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable
problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with
fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you.
For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you
about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and
then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let
you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter
cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital
thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc.,
etc. Just say you're getting rid of the cat.
2. Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and humane you
are. Your coworker recommended that you contact me because I am nice
to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people
who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite
phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I
am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your
ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors,
social workers, etc. Your pet has only me, and people like me, to
turn to in his or her need, and we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-
out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about
how, "We love this dog so much, and we even bought him a special bed
that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but
honestly, our maid is just awash in dog
hair every time she cleans, and his breath sometimes just reeks of
liver, so you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to
us, but we really just can't . . . ." You are not nice, and it is
not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your
dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your
sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry
for you in your plight.
3. Do not try to convince me that your pet is exceptional and
deserves special treatment. I do'?t care if you taught him to sit. I
don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of
battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no
room to foster-house your pet. Do not send me long messages
detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite
blankie everywhere, and oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he
spins around in circles, isn't that cute? He really is darling, so
it wouldn't be any trouble at all for us to find him a good home.
Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning,
blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens, any day of the
week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not
lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed-breed, garden-variety
dogs are almost completely unadoptable, and I don't care if they can
whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What
you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're
actually telling the truth: Your pet is a special, wonderful,
amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More
importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem. All I
can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short,
brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that
they were indeed very, very special.
4. Finally, just, for God' s sake, for the animal's sake, tell the
truth, and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble
that your cat is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No prob!"
and take it into foster care? No, I will start a asking questions
and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter
box in the last six months. Do not tell me that you "can't" crate
your dog. I will ask what happens when you try to crate him, and you
will either be forced to tell me the symptoms of full-blown, severe
separation anxiety, or else you will resort to lying some more,
wasting more of our time. And, if you succeed in placing your pet in
a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of
all: "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and
everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the
animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or
behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train
or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you
are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our
arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling
him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends
his life. How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask?
Do not ever dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck
with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers,
as you certainly did, didn't you? In short, this little old
rescuer/foster momma has reached the point where she would prefer
you pet owners to tell her stories like this: "We went to Wal-Mart
and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple of years ago.
Now we don't want it anymore. We're lazier than we thought. We've
got no patience either. We're starting to suspect the animal is
really smarter than we are, which is giving us self-esteem issues.
Clearly, we can't possibly keep it. Plus, it might be getting sick;
it's acting kind of funny. "We would like you to take it in eagerly,
enthusiastically, and immediately. We hope you'll realize what a
deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray
your costs. After all, this is an (almost) pure-bred animal, and
we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get it at Wal-Mart
too, and boy, it's a really good deal, price-wise. "We are very
irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and
picked the animal up already. We thought you people were supposed to
be humane! Come and get it today. No, we couldn't possibly bring it
to you; the final episode of "Survivor II" is on tonight."
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pet Owner, for your cooperation.
Author Unknown, but could be any shelter worker or rescuer
" Lets talk about our wonderful little friends!
Join today! "
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