"BUT," you say, "…my dog looks so guilty. She must know what she did wrong." This is a truly sad misunderstanding between dog and human culture. Dog's have a very ritualized system of handling disputes. Dog A shows a threat display. Dog B has two options…fight back, or act submissive to turn off Dog A's threatening behavior. What sorts of body language do we see in a submissive display? Among others, we might see an avoidance of eye contact (prolonged direct eye contact in doggie body language is confrontational), hunkering, slouching, tail tucked to the side, ears back, lip licking, possibly even turning belly up. Some of these same body language cues are ones humans associate with feeling guilty. Now we have a vicious cycle between our human and dog in this example. The human has a tantrum…shows a threat display. The dog acts submissively to turn off the attack. The human sees this as admission of guilt and knowing better, so the human becomes more irate. The dog may have no idea what caused this exchange, or worse, may associate this with whatever the dog was doing when the tantrum began. The dog may even get the idea that when puddles are on the floor, it means danger for the dog…but the dog will not associate the display with its own behavior of making the puddle, UNLESS you catch the dog in the act!
Thank you to everyone who responded to my problem with Ava's potty training! I hadn't thought of it as her way to get attention, but now that it was mentioned that does make a lot of sense.Last night when I found a piece of poop on the floor I made a bigger deal than I usually do and used a very stern voice (not yelling) and said, "Very BAD dog Ava!" and she immediately responded with a yelp - like she was talking back to me! ... it was very cute. Chi's are like little toddlers!My friend told me that I am too easy on her, that I need to use a sterner voice so she'll know she's doing something wrong. It's so hard to me to do that! I can't help but use my "baby talk" voice to her. But, after her response to my very stern voice lastnight, I can see that she got the point that I was upset at her.I'm going to put her on the timed schedule for going outside in the evening and see how that works. And also use a stern voice when she goes inside... I'm hoping that might work. If not, I'll take that advice to keep her on the leash and make sure she's by my side at all times while at home until we get this problem worked out. She is very much a people pleaser, so I have high hopes!One wonderfully cute thing that Ava does is fetching... Wow is she good! I've never known a dog who is so adept at retrieving! And I never would have guessed a Chi would be so good at this! She is just obsessed with bringing her toys to me (and shoving them at my hand, when I'm doing something other than paying attention to her). I will throw the toy, she will chase it down - growling and snarling at it (so cute!) - and then fly back over to me with the toy.My friend was over and she was trying to play fetch with Ava, but instead of bringing the toy back to my friend, Ava brought the toy to me when I was even in the other room.I've only had her a little over a month now and I can tell what a strong bond she has with me! I just adore this dog!Being a member of this group has just been wonderful as well. I greatly appreciate all of the advice I've received and really enjoy reading about all of your little angels too :)Thank You!~Christina
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