Two doilies As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her
husband's ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and
asked her husband never to touch it.
For 50 years Uncle Jack left the box alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying.
One day when he was putting their affairs in order, he found the box again and
thought it might hold something important.
Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to her
and asked about the contents. "My mother gave me that box the day we married,"
she explained. "She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations every
time I got mad at you."
Uncle Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice.
"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.
"Oh, well that's the money I've made selling the doilies."
Stuffed Pockets A small boy stunned his parents after church one Sunday
when he began to empty his pockets of nickels, dimes and quarters.
Finally his mother asked the obvious question, "Where did you get all that
money?"
"At Sunday school," the boy replied nonchalantly, "They have bowls of it."
A Common Bum A robust-looking gentleman ate a fine meal at an expensive
restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon brandy, then he summoned the
headwaiter.
"Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago, I ate just such a repast
here and then, because I couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley
like a common bum?"
"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.
"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid I'll have to
trouble you again..."
Keep Your Seat A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front
of her, a man gets up from his seat.
She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a
patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she
pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and
refuses to let him up.
Finally, the man says,
"Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."
lori hobbs
mom of 3
wife to phillip
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