Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... 
It is all true!Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 And heading towards 70!


1. 
Kidnappers 
Are not very 
Interested in you.
2. 
In a hostage situation,
You are likely to be 
Released first. 

3. 
No one expects 
You to run  --   
Anywhere.

4. 
People call at 9 PM 
And ask, 
'Did I wake you?'

5. 
People no longer 
View you as a 
Hypochondriac.

6. 
There is nothing left 
To learn the hard way.

7. 
Things you buy now 
Won't wear out.

8. 
You can eat 
Supper at 4 PM.

9. 
You can live 
'without sex 
But not your glasses.

10. 
You get into 
Heated arguments 
About pension plans.

11. 
You no longer think 
Of speed limits 
As a challenge.

12. 
You quit trying 
To hold
Your stomach in 
No matter who walks 
Into the room. 

13. 
You sing along 
With elevator music.

14. 
Your eyes 
Won't get 
Much worse.

15. 
Your investment 
In health insurance 
Is finally beginning 
To pay off. 

16. 
Your joints are more
Accurate meteorologists 
Than the national 
Weather service.

17. 
Your secrets are safe 
With your friends 
Because they can't 
Remember them either.

18. 
Your supply of braincells 
Is finally down to 
A manageable size. 

19. 
You can't remember 
Who sent you this list. 
And you notice 
These are all 
In big print 
For your convenience. 

Forward this 
To everyone 
You can remember 
Right now! 

ONE MORE THING: 

Never, 
Under any circumstances, 
Take a sleeping pill, 
And a laxative on 
The same night! 
 

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