Hello...I too have been through a lot of what you're going through. If it
wasn't for my son and his girlfriend...I would be off line right now...they
paid our bill for Christmas. We have been in a very bad position for a while
now...to cut a LONG story short...my husband lost his job...got another one
about 3 weeks later...but only makes $7.50 and hour. We aren't living...just
surviving. And yes...there are people who say we need to get rid of our
internet...we don't have much...and we don't go any where or do anything...so
I'm not getting rid of it. I too feel guilty a lot. We don't drink or do
drugs...my husband does smoke. I can't work any more. We help people out when
ever we can. We have bought groceries for people in the past (family
members)...my husband works on all their cars for free...we do favors...but now
that we're in need....forget it. The only ones that help us out are our
youngest son and his girlfriend and my parents. Most of you in the group know
about my situation for the last year at least...we have had a lot of
deaths...and serious illnesses...and injuries...including my father in law who
passed away in May...my 48 year old cousin in Oct...two aunts...one in
April...one in Nov...plus my daughter was in ICU on life support and died
twice...but they saved her...my grand daughter was in ICU because part of a
tree fell on her...major head injuries...my dad had a major stroke...my brother
in law tried to kill himself...then had a slight heart attack a couple of
months later...my ex husband ...I'm still friends with...is battling cancer and
a bad heart...he had a 6 hour surgery last week...and had heart failure on the
table twice...he also used to drink a lot and do drugs...including coke...we've
also lost a few friends this year...including one this past Wed....last year
was almost as bad...SO....I get depressed a lot...I find myself just bursting
into tears at any given time...if this is not a test of my faith and my
family's faith...I don't know what is. As far as Christmas goes...we aren't
having one this year...and that makes me sad...I LOVE the holiday season from
right around Halloween till new years...but this year...my spirit is broke.
BUT...I am VERY thankful that my precious dad is still here....my daughter is
still here...my grand daughter is still here...and my brother in law is still
here...because the MOST important things about Christmas are the reason we
celebrate it (which is Jesus) and my family. I LOVE all the glitter that
Christmas brings...the lights...the music..the Christmas shows...and I love to
shop for other people...this year I hate to go to the store...I get so
depressed by the time I leave. But on Christmas day I know I'll be with my
WHOLE family this year for dinner....and I know there are a LOT of people who
aren't that lucky this year...I don't know how I got mainly on the subject of
Christmas...but anyway...NO...don't feel guilty about what you have. I have a
close family member (like your cousin)...who lost everything because of
drinking and drugs...including their house...car...a LOT of their personal
stuff that they didn't take the time to get out of the house before it was
foreclosed on...and their health...some people you just CAN'T help...they have
to want the help...and I know of people who get food...clothes ...cars...have
their bills paid by someone else...and they go to the bar almost every week
end...now THOSE are the people who should feel guilty or ashamed. I know of
people who go from food bank to food bank...even in different counties...and
then COMPLAIN about what they get! More people who should feel guilty or
ashamed. Believe me...since my husband lost his job...and things are the way
they are now...we're VERY grateful for anything that we get. My husband also
works very hard...and his job is outside...I feel so bad for him...one day he
came home for lunch...took his boots off and got on the couch and wrapped his
feet in a blankets...this week...I think it's Mon or Tues...it's going to be in
the teens here! If we can just hang on till spring...his job should
improve...right now he's not even a full time employee...we lost our insurance
too...I'm supposed to go in for blood work every 3 months because of my
liver...and because I'm diabetic...I can't...we can't do anything. I know what
you mean about not eating...Friday night we went to Pet Supplies Plus and got
food for the cats (all rescues but 1)...we spent over $28...then we went to
another store and got dog food...yes...our animals come first...they wouldn't
under stand if their dishes were empty.I say that my husband and I are on a
"mandatory diet" haha....and be proud of you ring....it took me 11 years to
get mine! Then on our 25th anniversary 2 years ago...my husband got me a
diamond band...I have other rings...a few sapphires and a ruby...I want to
sell...and if your cousin would get her act together...she could have nice
things too! I just wanted to let you know that I don't feel that you were wrong
in buying your dogs sweaters...they probably APPRECIATE them! And to be honest
with you...I took $3.00 the other night...and went to a store called "Deals"
and bought my little female Chihuahua a bed...it was only $3.00 and she didn't
have one...and Sox won't let her in his...if he's in it...I also have some
pillows on the floor for them...it's very cold here..but they also are allowed
on the furniture...it keeps them out of the drafts...and they're "family"
anyway...lol lol...SO...to all of you reading this...PLEASE continue to pray
for me and my family...and especially my husbands job...the "big boss" wants to
see him in his office this coming week. We don't think he's going to get laid
off because when they handed pay checks out last Friday...they were telling
some of the guys that the 31st was their last day...when he got to my husband
he said.."I'll see you in my office next week"...we're hoping it's to tell him
he's going to be hired full time....
GOOD news...my parents were at the grocery store the other day...there was a
lady in line paying for her stuff...then another woman got in line behind her
and she had a full cart full of stuff...the lady who was first in line pointed
to the other woman's cart and told the cashier...I'm paying for hers too! The
other woman told her that it was ok....she didn't have to do it...but the woman
insisted...she said it's the time of the year that we're supposed to be sharing
or something like that....what a sweet thing to do. The woman just broke down
and cried....would have too...I hope that woman really gets a good
blessing...well...I'm sure she did! I would love to be able to do that for
someone. We used to do it when things were better...we would go through the
drive through at a restaurant and tell them at the window we wanted to pay for
the people behind us...it was a fun thing to do....This is funny...I TRIED to
help an elderly man out last year...he was buying some food and was short...by
almost 80 cents...I said "here ya go sir"....as I was handing him the
money....he YELLED at me and said "I don't need your money!" I felt like a
complete idiot! Then last month I was at the dollar store getting kitty litter
and I was short SIX CENTS~~~no one in line behind me offered to help...and the
guy that was ringing me up didn't even offer ....NOT that he should have....but
I REALLY~ REALLY felt like a COMPLETE fool then! ~~~Ahhh~~~life~~~some times I
wonder if it's all worth it~~~my life not anyone else's~~~~I'm VERY sorry this
got so long...and pretty much all negative...I try to put on a happy face~~~but
it gets harder each day~~~and I KNOW I'm not alone here....take care
guys...again~~~sorry for being so long~~~Sharon
----- Original Message -----
From: amanda christopher
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, December 19, 2008 11:35 PM
Subject: [Chihuahuas]OT: I May Be Going Offline For Awhile
I may be offline for awhile. I have depression issues and today was a
terrible day. My husband has a good job and things have been turning around for
us. For christmas my husband bought all new furniture for the living room and
several new pieces for the bedroom as well as buying me my first diamond ring
and a psp. We have been married for four years and have had really rough times.
Times when everyone was staying in the bedroom with a little space heater as
all of us, dogs included huddled under blankets all day because we had no heat.
There was times when we bought food for the dogs and we ate ramen noodles. But
now we have gotten back on top. My uncle called today and verbally attacked me
calling me a dirty w**** and telling me I would always be poor white trash. All
because the family is supporting my couzin. Her husband divorced her for
cheating on him and took custody of their son. She spends her check on alcohol
and drugs and leaves the family to pay the bills. And they tell me I should be
ashamed for flashing my money and buying nice fancy things. I was stunned that
they would say that to me. I have never thrown it in her face and in fact hid
the psp and diamond from her. She got violent with me yesterday because I
refused to give her twenty dollars from my christmas funds so she could get a
twelve pack of beer and cigarettes. Am I truly a bad person for buying sweaters
and coats for my chihuahuas instead of helping her buy cigarettes? Sorry for
such a sob story. I just needed to talk to someone.
Have A Beautiful Day, Each And Every Day!
