First of all, there are some definite compatibility issues. I really think that this dog needs to be in a home with other dogs and more than one person who will shower her with attention. I do not think she'll end up being a good dog for someone who works as much as I do even if I am working from home.
I spent several hours on the couch with her today just holding her and petting her. Because that is what she seemed to need. And yes, it was nice, and it was a relief to see her relax. But, this is not the sort of care I will be able to provide on a continued basis. Well at least not in the quantities she seems to need. I can't cater to a dog that needs to be in my lap constantly. If she was happy to be in her bed right next to me, fine. That has not been the case. Tonight was another battle - she does sleep in the bathroom for now until I know for sure she isn't going to have an accident and until her cough is somewhat more settled. Door scratching and howling. I'd have loved to have let her sleep with Sylvie. Except there's the Kennel Cough issue that is still being resolved. At this point, if things stay more or less the same, I'm going to get her well, get her spayed, finish off the vaccinations, and try to re-home her. She will always be welcome back if, after a trial period, things don't work out. As I'm experiencing - sometimes things just happen. People and animals don't always click. It is a little staggering to think about the money spent. But you know what, it's a very, very small price to pay for saving a life. Money is a replaceable commodity. A life, once extinguished, is gone forever. I think this is the most telling issue - while I do not begrudge the little girl the money spent, the financial issues aren't enough for me to feel it's necessary to try and force things to work - to make good on an investment at the expense of her happiness or my sanity. In other words - force things to work so that I don't 'lose' the money I've poured into her. I may be somewhat mercenary when it comes to business - that's my job. But I take animals and their lives very seriously. Unless things change drastically and somehow we magically click by early June, I will be re-homing her hopefully to a multiple person, multiple dog family. If it comes down to that, the usual procedures will apply. I will send her with almost all of her 'stuff'. The only fee I might require is to transfer ownership through the Los Angeles County Animal Shelter system and ensure that she's properly licensed. It's really sad that things aren't working out. I was so excited to bring this girl home. I was and am still determined to get her healthy. But I feel that she needs a lot more than I am able to provide her with. I can give her great food, make sure she's warm, watered, vetted, and taken out for walks, but the levels of affections that she currently seems to need aren't really plausible. This whole affair has gotten me so edgy and nervous that I've actually stopped drawing. I'm a freelance creative. I draw compulsively. This is what I do. So that's a pretty big deal. All I can think of is 'She deserves better' with an underlying side of 'please, please stop freaking out because I can't be with you every single minute of every day' As always, this group's support and advice has been really, super appreciated. Please keep your fingers crossed for the both of us. I am very aware that this little girl's gone through a pretty rough time. And I am sympathetic to the 'adjustment' period while we suss each other out. While I'm not officially putting her up for adoption yet (as I said, things could change), if any of the Los Angeles based Chi owners think they might be looking for an addition to their pack in the next month...please keep us in mind. If you have any specific questions or comments on this last post, I'd appreciate it if you'd contact me directly at [email protected]. Many thanks again. Please keep your fingers crossed for us. There is such a heavy feeling of sad resignation in my heart even in spite of her youthful enthusiasm for life and affection for me. I'm not much of a praying sort, but I reckon we could use your prayers. -Autumn ------------------------------------ We are now on Facebook! Join today! http://www.facebook.com/groups/chihuahuasclubYahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chihuahuas/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chihuahuas/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: [email protected] [email protected] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
