Why is it that nothing has gone right? I feel like everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong. I was prepared to treat the kennel cough. As much trouble as I had last week, I did know that behavioral problems were just sort of part of the package and at some point, I'd just have to suck it up and deal with it. Fine. I can moan and freak out online or outside. And deal with it when I have to because that was the only option I had. Who else was going to deal with it? My foster. My job. My responsibility. Reach down deep and make it work. Will power and dogged determination.
It is just so frustrating to jump from one problem to another with this dog. The savings I had set aside for personal/dog emergencies is being eaten up far faster and far sooner than anticipated because it's just been one problem after another. I've been pouring money into this animal because what other choice is there? First, persistent kennel cough. Now bloody worms and god knows what else in terms of a parasite load. Another vet visit. More medication. More, more, more. I am just starting to feel like I am never going to make any progress with this animal's health. Like I have a little furry financial black hole that will never get any better. A completely irrational thought. There is sadness because I want to see her healthy and she's not. There is frustration because something new seems to crop up every other day. There is a feeling of helplessness. Hopelessness and despair probably aren't too far off. And the money will run out. Hopefully 'eventually' as opposed to 'soon'. Freelance is slow. And I am actively looking for a day job. I had thought I had enough put aside. Maybe not. And this is all being felt particularly keenly right now because I haven't really been out of the house except to go to the post office in over a week. Nor have I seen any people except the post office lady in a week. That is A LOT of isolation. That is way too much time alone with my thoughts and a situation that seems determined to break me into little matchstick pieces. Who would have ever suspected that a sick little dog would be the thing that did me in? I'd laugh at the absurdity if I weren't just...I don't even know. Getting to the point where I just want to shove my head under the pillow and forget that the world exists. Today is just one of those days. They happen. Eventually...I know I'll regroup and be fine. Apologies for the whinging. Just feeling very, very low right now. Which is made worse because I don't feel particularly entitled to moaning when there are people out there that have it so much worse than I do. But thank you for the listen all the same. :( ------------------------------------ We are now on Facebook! Join today! http://www.facebook.com/groups/chihuahuasclubYahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chihuahuas/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Chihuahuas/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: [email protected] [email protected] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [email protected] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
