Hi Autumn. I am writing this not knowing if you have already unsubscribed from the group.
There are different approaches, different owners, different dogs. I would imagine that there are a whole set of other issues for those that have a dog which has had a previous home and previous rules and expectations. You are fostering Pia so that she will be able to be rehomed. She had kennel cough and you have made some strides as you put in your message. I was quite stressed last week and it made me too stressed for Dolly & Desi and then Friday morning with the added loss of sleep, I couldn’t even handle what to do for Desi when his rash was itching beyond control. I do know that stress, with a dog that is also stressed, just adds to the dogs stress. When you are already stressed and more stressors come your way, maybe it is best to stop reading the posts for a while. The stress you have is sensed by Pia. This would make it a double whammy. I wish you luck with Pia, and hope that the kennel cough and any other issues will resolve quickly. Joan From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of freddyscribbles Sent: Sunday, May 15, 2011 10:57 PM To: [email protected] Subject: [Chihuahuas] Re: Advice please - spoiled doggy tantrums It's awesome that your two are like that Joan! Pia is getting there. She's not a stupid dog. Very clever little thing. I've pretty much been able to stop the howling. When she starts up, a look will usually do the trick to stop her now. I can now go days without a howling episode. She's learning that howling doesn't get her attention anymore. She has also learned that she will get lots of love and petting when she's calm and not jumping and pawing. I don't know that she really can even enjoy all of the petting when her mind's that worked up and excited anyway. And I'm still trying to keep her as quiet as possible while she's still recovering from Kennel Cough. ------- On another, general note...I think I need to back off the chihuahua forum for a bit. Because I can only go on the defensive so many times. Suffice it to say that I have very, very specific reasons for working on certain behavioral issues with Pia especially the howling for attention. And while there have been some incredibly helpful and supportive people - Joan, Peggy, and Gloria especially - who've helped me change my approach and therefore better help Pia, there is also a handful of people who won't get past my refusal to coddle a dog like a human and 'spoil' her with constant love and affection. I don't know if this is a general dog thing or a prejudice specific to small breed owners in the same way that Pitty owners deal with prejudices. It's this sort of 'You don't hold your chihuahua! Are you crazy? Or just mean????' vibe. No...I'm not mean. Nor am I abusive or neglectful towards the dog. So I don't carry the chihuahua around. So what? Again - I wouldn't carry a 40lb dog around. I don't know why I should feel obligated to carry a 4lb dog around. Either way, while I think I understand the response, it is still baffling and to a lesser degree, hurtful. I absolutely understand and respect that the abundance of affection and coddling and treating like a child approach works for some people and that this is how they find happiness and fulfillment with their pets. If an owner and a pet can find happiness like this, that is awesome! And I am happy for anyone who's found that sort of fulfillment and love with their animal regardless of how they've gotten to that point. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that I'm incredibly envious. But please respect that this is not my approach. Love and dedication for an animal has many guises, and what works for some will not always work for others. It does not mean one approach is better or worse than another - it just means that there are different ways of existing with animals and finding that fulfillment and connection with our pets. But reading passive aggressive criticism (and sometimes not so passive) of my 'colder' approach is not helpful. I don't know these people by name - it's not important. And the logical part of my mind says 'You don't know these people. They are not important to you. So why let what they say bother you?' But...it has been bothering me. A lot. I am dealing with a lot of insecurities with this dog right now. Replies that imply that I'm a cold, uncaring person and oh my god poor Pia! Judgmental. Unhelpful. Hurtful. --- In [email protected] <mailto:Chihuahuas%40yahoogroups.com> , Joan Croft <joan_croft@...> wrote: > > I have been so proud of Desi lately. He was the puppy that I thought had > nothing between his ears. I used to tell him what not to do and he just sat > there moving his little head back and forth as he listened to me. I think > over time he got a little better, but now I really see how much he really > understands of what I say. I give treats to Dolly & Desi, and I can say > ‘Dolly’s’ and he will let the treat drop and Dolly eat it, until I say > ‘Desi’s’ and then I drop his treat and he eats his. I have told him not > to bark in the yard when the neighbor’s dogs are barking, and he will > usually come in. I then noticed that the neighbor dogs were barking and Desi > would go to the other end of the wall and just stay there being quiet. I told > Desi not to scare the birds on the wall and the trellis, and he just sits and > watches the birds from the planter. I took him to the vet on Thursday because > he has a rash on his behind, and he is supposed to wear the cone so that he > doesn’t lick it. I kept it on at first, and then I would take it off when I > was holding him. Then today I even let him running around without the collar. > When I saw him in the chair licking, I would pick up his collar and tell him > to stop licking. Then I was in the kitchen and looked towards the recliner > and he was ready to lick…I only said one word, ‘Desi!’ and he turned > his head back to the front faster than anything I have seen before. He has > learned in about a day that if he licks, he gets the cone collar. More and > more things he knows when I say it. I never trained my dogs from a book or a > trainer, but I spoke to them, and still do. I talk to them like they are > little people. They know what I say; they know what it means; but they have > never been choke collar trained, I only used love and a speaking voice. My > neighbors paid a trainer $1,200 to train their two dogs. They were trained > with choke collars about a year and a half ago. When I go over and ring their > bell, they are held with the owner holding their choke collars. They didn’t > learn anything necessary…the owners also take them out at certain times to > go potty. They have to stand and talk to them telling them to go for almost > 15 minutes every day. They also bark A LOT when they are trying to go potty > on command (I don’t think that many humans can do that.) When I hear mine > barking, I open the door, and usually Desi will run in the door and Dolly > will run back to her mat, but I don’t even have to say a word. I am not a > professional. I have never had a dog that was mine. But, I just talk to them > nicely and they actually pick it up. I just have to say ‘I have to go > out’ and both go running to their areas…they get a little cookie that I > usually hide in their puzzle toys. They don’t bark or make a mess when I go > out. When I come home they are patient and wait for me to put everything away > before they want to play â€" either with me or by going outside. > > I have never had a big dog, and what does a big dog do all day…they are > probably outside all of the time, they break the boredom by burying bones and > scratching up the grass. Dolly & Desi have each other to play with, sleep > with, and sometimes even have a little spat with. I love that, I love that I > come home and there is someone that is waiting for me; someone that loves me > no matter what happens. When I am sick, they are right by me, they want to > protect me even though they are small. If I have to go somewhere that I > don’t have to get out of the car, they are all too happy to get their > leashes on and get in the booster seat. If I go somewhere such as the park > for a picnic or an outdoor event, they are ever so happy to go and get all > the attention of other people, to get a ride in their stroller, to walk in > the grass. I would never trade my two for anything. They are my sunshine when > I am feeling down; they are the strength that I need when my spine lets me > know that it is not going to be an easy day; they are the unconditional love > that I have when I am not so sure if I am loved. I am their Mom, and if I > didn’t do things the traditional way, I don’t really think that it > matters. I have been told by friends and neighbors how calm and sweet Dolly & > Desi are…and then they say that they can see that they have been raised in > a home full of love. I love them…I really love them. And, although I do > love them every day, I think that the love which is returned is surely much > more. > > > > From: [email protected] <mailto:Chihuahuas%40yahoogroups.com> > [mailto:[email protected] <mailto:Chihuahuas%40yahoogroups.com> ] On > Behalf Of catdancerls@... > Sent: Sunday, May 15, 2011 8:46 PM > To: [email protected] <mailto:Chihuahuas%40yahoogroups.com> > Subject: Re: [Chihuahuas] Advice please - spoiled doggy tantrums > > > > > > Very well said Joan. I applaud you. This is what we do when we love our pets. > We are not training them to go out in the world on their own, for the army, > or the marines. We are training them gently for love and companionship with > us for the duration of their lives. I feel dogs were put on earth for us to > love and, yes, to definitely spoil (which in our home is an endearing term) > and in turn, they love us back, in a way everyone > > should experience the joy of. I have never heard a dog described as a 'brat' > or even in 'brat mode' before. Their hearts are pure and sweet. They have no > hidden agendas. And they are so smart and intuitive, they are able to read > what is in our hearts and respond accordingly. Yes, they do need to follow > and abide by a few basic rules to have a pleasant and smoothly run household, > but that does not in any way translate to or should resemble boot camp. It's > amazing how far love, compassion, some great behavior training methods that > have been kindly offered here can go to help raise and train a dog into a > well-behaved, beloved furry member of the family. > > > > In a message dated 5/14/2011 3:25:52 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time, > joan_croft@... writes: > > I think that the peeing incident is not ‘brat mode.’ It is caused by you > not paying attention to you, so then she does something that will get your > attention. > > I guess I may be accused of spoiling my dogs if it means that they want to > spend some time with me…they want to feel some love, me petting them and > talking to them calmly. I am not really sure that is what you mean, because > if Pia was a wild dog, then it would not be normal for her to want your > attention; but Pia is a pet and that means that the owner and the dog have a > relationship where they do interact with each other. I do hold my dogs; I do > cover them with their blankets at night; when I come home, they turn over so > that I can tickle their bellies, then give them a kiss and send them out to > go potty. If I only had one dog, there would be nothing else to interact with > if they were not to interact with you. > > Maybe I just didn’t understand what you were writing about being spoiled > and being a brat. >
