Let's say my story sounds weird and you might worry about my health
when you read this mail, then I assure you that I am frequently seing
my psychiatrist and we are cool on that level. And when you manage to
believe me, that I am not attempting to cause trouble (I am not
trolling anybody), then maybe I can ask 1 or 2 questions at the end of
my story. And hopefully, somebody with a google.com account will hint
me either in private or via this list, so I can stop bothering police
officers and my psychiatrist with geek stories they dont (have to)
care about.

Let's say hackers with positive intentions try to hint me, that I
should not be harassing a certain 21 year old girl. But ironically,
that girl is stalking me and I would be more than happy if she would
stop to manipulate my cyber life and my own personal version of
reality.

On Wednesday at 16:55 GMT my X Server caught a SIGTERM signal. I was
using a clean setup of Ubuntu Karmic and connected via PPPoe via
T-Online Germany to Google Mail with Firefox. And while I got this
dynamic IP I was connected to no other host with no application. So I
can say for sure that only my ISP and Google knew about my IP.

The person who was doing this little hackery is known to me. And I am
not angry on him because he was doing this. I am just sad that he made
himself a helper of this 21 year old girl. But what I care about very
much is how my IP was leaked. And I had a theory how this could have
happened. I indirectly aired this on ubuntu-devel-disc...@lists.

Now the strange thing is, that I received a mail from Google Web Alert
that tells me that it would like to inform me about a new appearance
of my keywords. But it says it failed to access the message that is
the cause for writing me. Let's say this is just a little bug in
Google Web Alert. But one that inspires me to trust a certain feeling
in my stomach even more. Let's say a certain person (who is not Mr.
Ouzo who touched my X Server) wanted to avoid that my "contributions"
to ubuntu-devel-disc...@lists spread across the net via search results
(for reasons that don't matter much right now). Let's say for that to
happen you only edit some blacklist or whitelist. And the rest of the
technical details is up to everyone's mind. Let's say with the person
who is able to edit these blacklists or whitelists we talk about the
same person who was able messenger up my IP to Mr. Ouzo.

Let's say that I am no longer interested in legal aspects of this
whole story and that I assure everzbody that I never was nor will be a
threat to that 21 year old girl, because all I wanna do is live in my
appartment in peace and play geek. Would I then get the confidence
back to travel on the internet how I want to, sometimes funny,
sometimes a bit hysterical?

Or would I experience similar things like they happen constantly on
Internet Relay Chat, where people are zapping you offline either by
Denial of Service or oper modes, as soon as you pissed off the wrong
person? For example, when I write something stupid on this list or
post on blogger.com something like "listen guys, I discovered that
censorship in germany is much worse than most of you would guess, etc.
bla bla"?

Would it then make any sense to keep loving Google, because Catspaw
works there or because Chrome could be a nice browser?


Patrick, the only gay penguin who is not homosexual
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