http://www.arabnews.com/?page=7§ion=0&article=124434&d=11&m=7&y=2009&pix=opinion.jpg&category=Opinion
Saturday 11 July 2009 (18 Rajab 1430)
Why some men fly solo
Tariq Al-Maeena | Arab News
Following the closure of schools and universities in the Kingdom last
week for the long summer break, many Saudis have made plans to take off with
their families to domestic or foreign destinations. This is an annual rite that
has embedded itself into mainstream culture.
Yet there are some husbands or fathers who choose to make singular
vacation plans for themselves at this time of the year. Leaving their wives and
children behind, these men either fly solo or in the company of other male
friends. And what prompts such men to do exactly that? Now before we jump to
conclusions, let us hear what they have to say.
Saleh, married and a father of three is flying off to Turkey this summer
with an office mate. He justifies his decision to leave his family behind as
follows: "I work hard all year long providing for my family. They are
constantly enjoying themselves during the year with shopping, amusement parks,
outings, etc. while I hold two jobs to provide a living. When summer comes, it
is my time to relax and travel with my friends."
Muneer has a different twist to his need to get away without his family:
"I have been married for three years with one son. But my wife's mother and
sisters are always in my home, and constantly interfering in our affairs. My
wife accepts that freely but I have to put up with it grudgingly to maintain
harmony. My escape is for my sanity, you see. And she doesn't mind since her
family constantly surrounds her."
Taher says his wife's constant nagging all year drives him to seek
comfort of distant shores during his summer vacation: "She is a strong-willed
woman and is always criticizing me for one thing or the other. I can take that
for 11 months of the year, but for one month we have an understanding that I
must get away."
Ahmed believes it's his wife's traditions that hamper their traveling
together: "She is very conservative and does not like to be around people
specially if there are males. I want to see the world. So what do we do? She
goes off to her parents' village, while I find myself traveling alone."
And how do some of the wives of these traveling men feel? Are they all
nonchalant about their spouse's foreign adventures? In a story in one of the
Arabic papers last week, several Saudi housewives expressed wariness and
suspicion of their husbands' desires in going alone to spend summer vacation
abroad, without taking them or any other family members with them.
Talking to the Arabic daily Al-Watan, some of the women voiced their fear
that their husbands might contract some communicable disease and return with
the deadly virus to create havoc in their family life. Unfortunately, a few of
these housewives have indeed become victims of the AIDS disease following such
trips by their spouses.
Maha M., a Saudi, said she was always fearful that her husband would
become a victim of the disease whenever he leaves for abroad. "I always live in
fear and anguish while my husband goes abroad for vacationing. Last time, I
told him to carry out medical tests before coming back home so that I can live
with him in satisfaction and relief," she said.
Another housewife, aged 25, told the newspaper that she is a victim of
AIDS contracted from her husband after his return from an Arab country. "My
husband used to undertake trips within the Kingdom and abroad at frequent
intervals. Sometimes, he gave reasons and excuses for the trips, and on other
occasions, there were no such excuses."
"He always used to reject my request to take me with him, saying that a
friend is accompanying him in the trip," she said. The young woman, who has two
children, said she thought that her pregnancy would bring about changes in his
habit, but nothing had changed even after they had a child.
"After coming back from a foreign country, I found him exhausted and
tired. When I inquired about it, his reply was that it was because of hard
work," she said. Later, the young woman was shocked to see that she had also
contracted AIDS when she underwent medical tests following the second
pregnancy. "When I informed him about this, his reaction was more shocking and
mind-boggling." Her husband divorced her accusing her of "disloyalty and
cheating," she said.
Men traveling alone or in groups with friends must realize that giving in
to temptations that often come so quickly across them on distant shores, can
also terminate their lives or those of their loved ones just as swiftly.
