Happy new year/century/millenium to all.........
Natasha <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote in message
[EMAIL PROTECTED]">news:[EMAIL PROTECTED]...
> Actually a late Fridays funnies.
>
>
> (I'd like to dedicate this to my boyfriend, who is living proof that
> uncontrollable compulsive
> switching of TV channels with a remote control is a testosterone
> influenced condition.)
>
>
> Because I'm A Man......
>
> When I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire
> clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
> until long after hypothermia has set in and I have damaged the
> vehicle.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> When the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and
> stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
> shows up one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
> these
> things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
> know where to start."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> When I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take
> care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
> do, so for you this isn't an issue.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
> store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items
> like "Cumin" or "lady fingers." For all I know these could be the same
> thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up
> anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> When one of our appliances stops working I will insist on
> taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice
> as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back
> together.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I
> watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
> looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
> calculator).
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we
> should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a
> complete stranger? I mean, could he know where we're going?
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> There is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about, especially
> while driving quietly. The answer is always either sex or football,
> though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come
> visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
> than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't
> need
> to
> see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom, too!
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> You don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are,
> if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were
> wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
> With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look
> fine.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> Because I'm a man,
>
> And this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally in the
> housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, gardening,
> the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do all the rest.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
> This has been a Public Service message for women, to better
> understand the male animal.
> --
> Natasha Flazynski
> 440.949.1399
> http://www.ciscobot.com
> My Cisco information site.
> http://www.botbuilders.com
> Artificial Intelligence and Linux development
> ------------------------------------------------
> A bus station is where a bus stops.
> A train station is where a train stops.
> On my desk, I have a work station...
>
> _________________________________
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