Something didn't happen, so second try!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
TAKE ONE Two engineering students greeted each other on their way to
class
and one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business
when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said,"Take what you want." The second
engineer
nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fit."
TAKE TWO To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it
needs
to be.
TAKE THREE A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning
for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in,
"I
don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude! The pastor said, Hey,
here
comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." "Hi George. Say,
what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The
greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always
let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment. The
pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
TAKE FOUR There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing
all
things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years,
he
happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding
a
seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their
multimillion-dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone
else
to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called
on
the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the
past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the
huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a
particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your
problem
is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The
company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
They
demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded
briefly: One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid
in
full and the engineer retired again in peace.
TAKE FIVE What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil
Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build
targets.
TAKE SIX Three engineering students were gathered together discussing
the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical
engineer. Just look at all the joints. "Another said, "No, it was an
electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections." The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else
would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
TAKE SEVEN "Normal people ... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix
it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
features
yet."
----- Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
TAKE EIGHT An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing
whether
it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect
said
he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
of
the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like
both."
"Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will
each
assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the
lab
and get some work done."
TAKE NINE An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out
to
him and said,"If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He
bent
over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I
will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his
pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out,
"If
you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and
put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter?
I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a
week
and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said,
"Look
I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog
-
now that's cool."
>>
Natasha wrote:
>
> >From Chuck Larrieu this time!
> -------------------------------------
> >
>
> --
> Natasha Flazynski
> http://www.ciscobot.com
> My Cisco information site.
> http://www.botbuilders.com
> Artificial Intelligence and Linux development
> ------------------------------------------------
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