EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT DOG SHOWS author unknown
ANGULATION-Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges. BALANCE-How to arrange the checkbook so your spouse won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked. BITCH-(A)Name for a lady dog. (B)Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog. COAT-The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show. DAM-(A)A lady dog with children. (B)Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring. ELBOW-Method of getting to ringside when late. EXPRESSION-"Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver. FANCIER-Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others. FEATHERING-What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests. FRONT-Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring. HEEL-(A)What you feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to an eager novice. (B)Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs. HEIGHT-As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch. HOCK-A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelry such as wedding rings. KENNEL-Where you go when the kids fight and your spouse yells at you. LITTER-Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show. MASK-What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago. MUZZLE-What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night. NOSEPRINTS-Cute marks left all over your French doors. OUTCROSSING-What your spouse tells the minister that you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch. POINTS-Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes. PUPPIES-Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.) Author unknown, shared by Rosanne http://www.shutterfly.com/my/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b31d7b544558 In The Bluegrass of Kentucky ========================================================= "Magic Commands": to stop receiving mail for awhile, click here and send the email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?body=SET%20CKCS-L%20NOMAIL to start it up gain click here: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?body=SET%20CKCS-L%20MAIL E-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] for assistance. Search the Archives... http://apple.ease.lsoft.com/archives/ckcs-l.html All e-mail sent through CKCS-L is Copyright 2002 by its original author.
