One quiet night at a local watering hole a tired Bill Gates walks in and has a seat at the bar. Before he has a chance to order a drink he catches a glimpse of one Steve Jobs down at the other end of the bar. He coyly approaches Steve and says: “Hey Steve. Can I buy you...”. In a heartbeat Steve interrupts him and says "Fuck you" and splashes him with the bottled water he was drinking. Rejected Bill returns to his seat and orders a few drinks. After a while a small penguin named Tux enters the room and hops up onto a bar stool and motions to the barkeep for his drink. A few ladies approach Tux and adore him up close stroking his flippers. When the ladies leave Tux for the evening a pair of alcohol crossed eyes focuses on him. Bill in his infinite wisdom and a few too many beers shuffles over to Tux's spot at the bar. “Hey you cute little thing. If you tell me your secret I'll buy you...”. Without warning Tux bites Bills finger and waddles away. "That little shit! God damnit I hate birds!" Bill to thinks himself as he returns to his seat. Still intent on not going home alone he spots a something that sort of might possibly look like a platypus, he isn’t too sure. He has had a few drinks and by this point everything is starting look like warped windows. Bill walks up to it and says “I don’t know what the hell you are supposed to be but everyone here tonight has turned me down. Can I buy you a…” And thus Bill met Hexely’s big ol’ trident poking him in the ass. Limping back to his seat Bill questioned his abilities as a global software market dominator. “Bartender. Am I not the world’s richest geek?” inquired Bill. “Uh sure you are.” Replied the burly mixmaster behind the counter. “Then give me something else to drink!” Bill hollered. Some time passes and Bill notices a strange man in a trench coat with a red fedora. This time Bill staggers to the the stranger in the trenchcoat. “I know. What you want. Mr. Gates. I don’t do Windows.” The stranger said taking off his bright red felt hat and taking a sip of Scotch. “How?! I haven’t said anything to you yet.” Bill stammered. “You just want to buy everyone” answered the strange man. “A drink! A drink I swear! I just want to buy them a drink!” retorted Gates. “That’s not what I heard from the folks outside.” Bill was really pissed off now. “What are they saying?” “Beware of the prick at the bar. He’s got security issues.”
-EK
:-) Katrina
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