I just want to thank everyone for their condolences and acts of kindness during the loss of my beloved mother. It has been a painful, heart breaking experience. Death of a loved one is an intense pain and being sick only adds to the intensity of that pain. I am as well as could be expected in such a time of loss, but I feel as though I am still in a cloud of shock, denial and confusion and I fear once the shock fades... I just fear a complete breakdown. I am trying to prepare and brace myself, pray and cling close to my family. The dear Lord was ready for my mother to come home to him and two days later, the Lord also allowed my son to come home to me and was released early from jail with time served. I am so happy to have him home, and at the same time so saddened to go in my mother's room and find that she is no longer there. (And by the way, the sheriff did allow my son to be brought to the funeral home so my son got to see his grandmother one last time. It was a painful experience to see my son in orange suit, chained, shackled and hand cuffed crying over his granny that he adored. My son was terribly embarrassed in front of other people and employees of the funeral home.) I know that the upcoming holiday's are going to be painful. My husband's birthday was the 12th and mother passed away three days after his birthday on the 15th, so it will be a sad occassion for years to come during the days around his birthday. I am selfishly sad to have lost her but I know she is in a better place, and at total peace without pain and sorrow. I was so sick the other night and just hurting from head to toe and I had to call my husband to help me out of the shower, I was just so drained and I told my husband then that I knew mother was in a better place, because she was out of her misery and I was left behind suffering.
Thank you all for your words of comfort and your prayers. I am so thankful to have the opportunity to have you all in my life. You all have been tremendous strength and support for me and for this I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I pray that God will bless each and everyone of you.
Love, Peace, Hope & Prayers, Pat
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