Thanks Doug for your input. I am truly greatful for the Gleevec.....it is keeping me alive and helping keep the CML controlled but the Gleevec is really going against me in other ways. I feel as though it is fighting the leukemia but killing me in other ways. I'm totally against bone marrow transplant and have been since they gave me the book on it. It is a 50-50 chance and I don't want to spend the last days of my life in the hospital in a mess, suffering or putting that burden on my family. I have emphysema and I just don't see my body surviving it. Second of all, it is not even an option for me as I don't have a donor. The Gleevec has had horrible effects on my body. I am desperate to get away from it. I do believe there are ways and herbal stuff that if used properly could cure me. I want a CURE, not a cover-up. A friend of mine has a friend that has CML and she is thin as a rail like myself, but she has stopped taking the Gleevec and is treating herself without her doctor's knowledge. She has just in the past couple of months returned to work. She is very secretive about her treatment. I begged her to discuss it me but she says she does not want to share with me what she takes for the simple fact, if I went by her course of action, got off the Gleevec and ended up not doing well or worse, she would feel responsible so I respect that. But whatever it is she takes she is doing excellent. She tells me her leukemia is undetectable by PCR and she feels great. Much like myself the Gleevec was causing so many problems, she was desperate to get off of it. I. too want Gleevec out of my life. Everything I've read about the new drug, BMS doesn't cause all these side effects....BUT is it A CURE? Is it something I will have to take the rest of my life? CML has changed my life also. I cherish each and every day I live. The little things that used to stress me out, don't even matter anymore. I went from keeping a spotless house to one that looks very much lived in....it's just not something that is a big concern to me like it once was. Little things that used to just aggravate me, annoy me.....don't anymore because in the scheme of things, to me they are the least of my worries. I just want to live a normal life....I want to be cured and I do believe there is a cure in one form or another. Gleevec keeps the leukemia at bay....under control but it causes horrible things to the body, even to my mind. You hear people talk of the Gleevec fog...well I'm in one constantly. My mind doesn't work like it used to....my memory is horrible, things like cooking have become this major task if I'm cooking 2 or 3 different things at once and I've always loved cooking and baking. I have to write myself notes constantly. It's just a lot of little things I notice. Gleevec is a miracle pill and much better than the conventional chemo that was used before Gleevec was designed but it has made me pay one hellava a price to remain alive. I know there are so many who take it and do just wonderful, continue to work and their lives are pretty much normal but I'm just not one of them. Just my luck....and my luck has never been good....EVER. Thanks for your caring and concern....I've rambled on long enough I suppose. Perhaps I will email you at a later time. Love, Peace, Hope & Prayers, Pat
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