Hi, I wasn't going to go to my little history because I think most of the people in the group know about it, but on second thought without going into details here it is in a nutshell. I was dxed in April of 04, I got the call my bloodwork was not good while at work the lady at my primary doc's office did not have a clue what it meant but the first words out of her mouth were that we have made you an appointment with Louisville onocology.(I use to be a credit card fraud investigator.) Anyway I look up on the net what a very high white blood count could mean, and imagine that..it was Leukemia...I freaked out the first thing that came to mind was I was going to die, and I would leave behind my son, and wife. I wasn't ready to die that was the next thing. The my boss happened to come by my cubicle and see me just staring at the screen on my PC, saw what was on it and called me in her office. She closed the door and just hugged me, and I'll be honest I cried like a baby for a good minute or so. Jessica(my former boss) was very cool and was very understanding. Well long story short, my wife left me over the disease, my son decided he wanted to live with his mom, so I ended up having to live back at my parents house. My biggest fear now after two years is that the gleevec will stop working, that Regina and I will not work out(She is the lady I was living with, I left and we are in the process of working things out). I am also very afraid for my son Nick, he will be 13 in Feb, and he has not handled my disease well at all, and I do not want to leave this earth knowing he is not on the right path. I visit with him regulary so I am doing my best to steer him in the right direction. So that is the short version of my life since being dxed. I am not afraid of death anymore, in fact I defy it. I have been into "goth" for a while so in a way it has helped me get through that fear of death. I don't look like a freak show or anything, I just have long black hair and goatee. I am pale so in essence I guess I look like a reject from a vampire movie..rotfl. I am a little bitter toward our disease, because it did take allot away from me, but at the same time I feel lucky because their are many who have it worse than I do. I do still have trouble getting over the fact knowing if it were not for our disease I would be making $60,000 or more now, and instead have to survive on disability. Again though, there are many who have it worse than I do. I'll close this for now, if you have any further questions feel free to ask. Take care
Terry On 12/6/06, sayonarabeat <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Surviving and Living with Leukemia: > Hello, I was diagnosed with leukemia on December 3, 2003, (AML M4eos), > at the age of 24. I went into remission after my first round of chemo > and had to continue with four more intensive rounds of chemotherapy > until May 2004. September 2005, I was getting my monthly blood work > check up and my White blood cells had dropped drastically to 1.4. I had > to have an emergency bone marrow biopsy. First I was told I was clear, > but then after the molecular test, FISH, came back, it showed there > were 5% leukemic cells. My only option at that point was a bone marrow > transplant. April 5, 2006 marked my new day 0. I now have male blood in > me. The labs call to ask if I am a male. I am on month 7 post > transplant. > For years, I have been trying to graduate. And leukemia keeps putting > it off, but I keep fighting it back. For my final project at my school, > Eugene Lang College in New York city part of the New School. > http://www.lang.edu, I am compiling information from people with > leukemia who are surviving. You can be in the middle of treatment, post > treatment or even pre-treatment. I would like to first put this on > message boards and see the response I get. I have read a few books > over the past few months on leukemia-patients, young patients, people > who have watched their loved ones die from this disease, the 60 minutes > News reporter who passed away recently, Ed Bradley. There is also Mary, > from Peter, Paul and Mary who had a bone marrow transplant over a year > ago. I have realized how little information is really out there for the > patient and even for the world. I watched the 60 Minutes episode on Ed > Bradley after he passed away and I was angry of the reporting. This is > a journalistic video of someone's life and there was not even five > minutes to teach what leukemia was or how it affects someone. It > usually is just said in passing, "an infection, the person could not > fight." But there is so much more than that. Some of my friends > didn't even know what a bone marrow was, didn't even know they had > this thing in their body called a bone marrow. It is important to teach > and learn about leukemia but it is also really important to have more > people's voices heard who have had this disease. These personal > stories are reassuring for the next person who is diagnosed in helping > him or her get over their own fears or learn to control them. I see the > research of finding cures for cancer important so people do not have to > go through the things we've been through. But more than that, there > are people going through this. We need to look inside ourselves to deal > with the subjective feelings this disease gives and gave to us. That is > exactly my focus. In ending, I want to use one of my favorite quotes > from Carl Jung, "Who looks outside, dreams-Who looks inside, > awakens" > > If you have the time, I would really appreciate these questions > answered. You can answer on the message board or you can send them > directly to me at: [EMAIL PROTECTED] > Also, if you are interested, I have a website: > http://www.jfmedicalfund.org > > I thank you in advance. > > Questions: > 1. When hearing your diagnosis, what was one of your biggest fears? > 2. What did you do to deal with this fear? > At this point, where is that fear in your life now? > > > > > -- Nothing's ever wrong..But nothing's ever right..Such a cruel contradiction! --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ [CMLHope] A support group of http://cmlhope.com ------------------------------------------------- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "CMLHope" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/CMLHope -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
