'The Bar Joke' (http://tarantino.m4d.com/Sounds/desperado/joke.wav)
{Quentin: Pick Up Guy}
This reminds me of a joke. This guy, he comes into a bar, walks up to
the
Bartender and says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet
you Three-
Hundred dollars that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill
a
single solitary drop."
The Bartender says.. {mumbling} now one more time this glass is like a
good ten
feet away. He says, "Now wait a minute. Let me get this straight.Your
trying to
tell me you're gonna bet me Three-Hundred dollars that YOU can piss
standing
over here waaay over there, into that glass, and not spill a single
drop"?
The guy looks up smiling and says, {whispering} "That's right."
The Bartender says, "Young man you gotta bet!"
The guy says, "O.K. here we go, here we go." He pulls out his thang.
He's
looking at the glass, man he's thinking about the glass, he's thinking
about the
glass, he thinks glass, he's thinking of the glass, think glass,
thinking about
his dick. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Dick, glass. Be the glass. Dick,
glass.
Dick, glass. Dick, glass.
And then 'SWOOOSH' . He lets it rip! And he's {Pissing Sound} ..he's
pissin'
all over the place, man! {Pissing Sound} He's pissin' on the
bar..{Pissing
Sound} he's pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone.. {Pissing
Sound}
on the Bartender.. {Pissing Sound} He's pissing Everywhere EXCEPT the
fucking
glass!! Right.
O.K. So, Bartender, He's laughing his fucking ass off, he's
Three-Hundred
dollars richer. He's like, "Ha Ha Ha Ha." Piss drippin' off his face.
"Ha Ha Ha
Ha" He says, "You FUCKIN' idiot, man. You got it in everything EXCEPT
the glass!!
You owe me Three-Hundred dollars punta." And he goes, "Excuse me, just
one, one
second." Goes in the back of the bar, and in the back there's a couple
of guys
playing pool. He walks over to them... {Whisper Sounds} Comes back to
the bar
and goes, "Here you go Mr. Bartender, three." {Slap Sound}
And the Bartenders like, "WHAT the fuck are you so happy about, you just
lost
Three-Hundred dollars you idiot?!"
The guy says, "Well, you see those guys over there. I just bet them
Five-Hundred
dollars a PIECE, that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss
on your
phone, and piss on YOU, and not only would you be not mad about it......
you'd
be happy..."
{Quentin Laughing His Ass Off}
That's some funny shit, huh!
{Quentin Laughing His Ass Off, Again}
{While Still Laughing} You'd be happy about it!
{Quentin Laughing His Ass Off Some More Before he Takes A Drink Off Some
Nice
'Warm' Piss-Beer}
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