TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking bollocks BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, sh1ts on everyone, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die. CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.) MOUSE POTATO. The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the sh1t out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and processes. 404. Someone who's clueless. >From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located . OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've Just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all') New Oxford Dictionary definitions GOING FOR A McSHIT Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McShit with Lies. BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am in the morning. BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from. JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering you rself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa!Aa!Aa!". MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
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