***Instruction for reading: Read in an Italian accent ***

I am a Italiano One day ima gonna LA to bigga hotel. In a morning I go
down to eat breakfast. I
tella waitress I wanna two pisses toast. She brings me only one piss. I
tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no
understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss
onna plate, you sonna ma
bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me
sonna ma bitch!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress bring me a spoon
and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone
wanna fock. I tella her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So, I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. I
call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet.
I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not
shit onna bed, you
sonna ma bitch.

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say:
"Peace on you." I say piss on you too, you sonna
ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy!

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